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<i>Welcome to the Villa Capri.</i>

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<i>Located in the heart of the desert</i>

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<i>is the resort community
that takes you to paradise.</i>

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<i>You've worked hard all of your life,</i>

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<i>and now...</i>

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No!

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That son of a bitch

8
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is in Palm Springs.

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He's basking
in the sun and playing golf.

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While my husband
is drinking toilet wine in supermax!

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Now the only thing that I want
from you for Christmas

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is that rat's head in a box!

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And make it look like it's an accident.

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<i>♪ A few more days till Christmas ♪</i>

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<i>♪ My favorite time of year ♪</i>

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<i>♪ If we're lucky we'll see Santa ♪</i>

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<i>♪ Rudolph and his eight reindeer ♪</i>

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<i>♪ The snow keeps on fallin' ♪</i>

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<i>♪ Sleddin' down the hill ♪</i>

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<i>♪ Frosty's frozen on the lawn ♪</i>

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<i>♪ Countin' down the days until ♪</i>

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<i>♪ We gather 'round decorate the tree ♪</i>

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<i>♪ Singin' holiday songs ♪</i>

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<i>♪ Spices fill the air ♪</i>

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<i>♪ Smell of cookies everywhere ♪</i>

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- Hi, Duke.
- Hey.

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<i>♪ A few more days to Christmas ♪</i>

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<i>♪ The very best time of year ♪</i>

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<i>♪ Firelight is glowing ♪</i>

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<i>♪ On everything we hold dear ♪</i>

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<i>♪ Just a few more days till Christmas ♪</i>

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<i>♪ A few more days ♪
♪ Till Christmas is here ♪</i>

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- Hi.
- Thank you.

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Santa!

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Oh! You're very generous, Duke.

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Could I get you to sign
this receipt for me?

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Sure thing. You just bought your way off

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- the naughty list.
- Pleasure.

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<i>♪ Rudolph and his eight reindeer ♪</i>

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<i>♪ Firelight is glowing ♪</i>

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<i>♪ On everything we hold dear ♪</i>

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<i>♪ Just a few more days till Christmas ♪</i>

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<i>♪ A few more days till Christmas ♪</i>

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- Hey boss!
- Great job, guys. Very festive.

45
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- Excuse me. This is Mr. Diver's spot.
- Perfect!

46
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Mr. Diver make you wear those clothes?

47
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Shine it up for me, Elf.

48
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- Nice tree.
- Who is that in my parking spot?

49
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Oh, that's a new resident,
Leo McKay.

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Yeah, he just checked in
last night and he's actually very...

51
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He's got a ten-gallon hat
on a five-gallon head.

52
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Paid all cash.

53
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Cash?

54
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Well...

55
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Let's invite him to my private poker game.

56
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You got it.

57
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I'll show him who's boss.

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- In the nicest way.
- Of course.

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- It's crooked.
- Hm?

60
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- And there's a bald spot.
- So what? A lot of trees have flaws.

61
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A lot of people have flaws.

62
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You can put the bad side
of a tree against the wall.

63
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What do you do
with the bad side of people?

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- That's deep.
- Write it down.

65
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Greetings, my darling.

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Be a dear and get 5,000
out of petty cash for me.

67
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Not a problem.

68
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Got some stuff for you to sign here, sir.

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Did you know that the builders
of the great cathedrals of Europe

70
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would leave a small flaw
in the stone somewhere

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just to acknowledge
that only God is perfect?

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Where do you learn all this stuff?

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College of life, my boy.

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Well, we've got
the gardener's Christmas bonus,

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the extra security cameras for your villa,

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the bonus you asked me
to pay out to the entire staff,

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live animals for the nativity scene.
The camels were a little expensive.

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You can't a nativity without camels.

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The Wise Men came from the East.

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Got to give them respect.

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Oh, and we have a letter
from the Rotary Club

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confirming your acceptance

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- of Man of the Year Honors...
- I can't accept. Can't accept.

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I'm uncomfortable in the limelight.

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You seem comfortable in the limelight.

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My golf clubs! Oh, perfect, perfect!

87
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So, I had them close the face
on the driver by a degree and a half.

88
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You've been slicing a little recently.
Should take care of it.

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Good, good, good.

90
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I think I'll just run on out to the range
and let the big dogs eat.

91
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Oh, Duke!

92
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Hm?

93
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- Five thou. Mm-hm.
- Thank you, my darlin'.

94
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Duke, you checkin' me out?

95
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Every delicious inch.

96
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That's a nice tree you got this year.

97
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Well, thank you,

98
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but I'm a little concerned
that some of the residents

99
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might not like a flocked tree.

100
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Well, you know me, Duke.

101
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I like a nice flockin' from time to time.

102
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A bit of Henkell's Trocken
for my darlin'?

103
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Whatever.

104
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It's a little before
my bedtime, but...

105
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Aw, it's always your bedtime, Duke.

106
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But darlin', you know a man's nature
is a man's...

107
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Hey, why don't I go and enhance
the fireplace in the boudoir.

108
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Would you like that?

109
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- Yeah, I would.
- Okay!

110
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Hope you don't mind.
I let myself in.

111
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<i>Pour moi?</i>

112
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Uh... of course!

113
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What is the color of that silk
against your skin?

114
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There's a painting by Caravaggio.
You could have been...

115
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It's plum.

116
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And you're my plum.

117
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Oh!

118
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Listen, darling, I... I'm just gonna go
and... lock up, turn out all the lights,

119
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and come back
and submit to your every whim.

120
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My every whim.

121
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Oh... Hurry back.

122
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Uh... Marguerite darlin',
I... I think the...

123
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Zoloft and the Lipitor
are kicking in a little early on me.

124
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I... I feel woozy.

125
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- Hold on a minute.
- What?

126
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Have you got
another woman in there?

127
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Oh, Marguerite... you hurt me
with your accusation.

128
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You twist the knife. The wound bleeds.

129
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You... you get such pleasure
out... out of my discomfort.

130
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- I... I just don't...
- Hold on a second, mister.

131
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You didn't answer my question.

132
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Darling, trust me...

133
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I speak from the heart when I say...

134
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Yes, there's a woman in the bedroom.

135
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All right. Well...

136
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I know I'm not your one and only,
and we've got a grown-up relationship.

137
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- Yes.
- So, I'll...

138
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Well, I'll just say good night.

139
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- I'm fine.
- N... no! Let me, let me...

140
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- let me walk you to your door, okay?
- Mm-hm.

141
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In your own way, Duke,
you are strangely chivalrous.

142
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<i>Merci beaucoup.</i>

143
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Still a cat,
of course, but you got rules.

144
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Aw, I consider myself a gentleman.

145
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And so, "Good night. Good night.
Parting is such sweet sorrow.

146
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I shall say good night
till it be 'morrow."

147
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Can I quote you on that?

148
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Well, you be my guest, Romeo.

149
00:09:57,080 --> 00:10:00,471
Actually, I'm... I'm surprised you even
considered a little romance tonight

150
00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:01,630
given the circumstances.

151
00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:03,351
Circumstances?

152
00:10:03,680 --> 00:10:04,670
Well, this is your poker night.

153
00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:07,071
<i>Ciao.</i>

154
00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:10,669
Uh... poker?

155
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:13,477
Poker!

156
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:26,438
I got the feeling that the Duke

157
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needed a little... Roberta.

158
00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:34,235
Uh, yes.

159
00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:37,239
The Duke... the Duke always needs
a little Roberta.

160
00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:43,396
Well, from the way you just said it,
it sounds like a "not tonight".

161
00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:49,240
Well, I have a meeting
that requires urgent attention, darling.

162
00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:51,437
- At night?
- It's morning in China.

163
00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:59,277
Uh, well, good night, good night, darling.
Parting is such sweet sorrow.

164
00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:05,391
"A horse, a horse.
My kingdom for a horse."

165
00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:08,356
Mm-hm.

166
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,515
So, a guy comes home from the doctor's.

167
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:23,559
He tells his wife,
"Honey, I got terrible news."

168
00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:24,471
Terrible news.

169
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:26,950
"Doctor says, I only got
12 hours to live."

170
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:29,549
- Uh-huh.
- Wife says, "Oh dear, that's terrible.

171
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:32,997
That's terrible. I'll do anything for you.
Whatever you want."

172
00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:37,472
And he says, "I want to have wild sex
with you all night long."

173
00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:39,469
And she looks at him and says,

174
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"Easy for you to say. You don't have
to get up in the morning."

175
00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:45,880
That's funny! That's very funny!

176
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:48,111
All right. Who's betting?
Who's betting? Who's betting?

177
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It's me, and I'm goin' in for big money.
'cause I wanna take everything you got.

178
00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:54,956
I'll see your 100 and raise you two.

179
00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:57,714
That' a 100 bucks!

180
00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,473
I'll see you, I'll see you.

181
00:11:59,560 --> 00:12:01,233
I heard this is where the action's at.

182
00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:02,231
Who the hell are you?

183
00:12:02,320 --> 00:12:04,676
I'm Leo McKay. I'm moving into um...

184
00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:06,672
Villa 71. Welcome, neighbor.

185
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:07,671
Hi.

186
00:12:08,560 --> 00:12:11,871
I'm Duke Diver, resident manager
of this little corner of paradise.

187
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:15,198
- These are my cronies.
- Duke's a legend.

188
00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:16,680
Legends ain't what they used to be,
are they?

189
00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:18,194
Yeah, but you don't know Duke.

190
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:20,317
He's a resident champion
of everything around here.

191
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:21,754
Guys, you're embarrassing me.

192
00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:24,760
I'm just a country boy
tryin' to fade into the sunset

193
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:25,956
with smile on my face.

194
00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:27,076
Ain't we all?

195
00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:29,550
But I gotta warn you, cousin,
we play for real money here.

196
00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:32,030
Well, I'll try to keep up.

197
00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:34,712
- Oh.
- Holy shit... That's a wad, man!

198
00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:38,080
Shit just got real up in here!

199
00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:40,311
That's my alimony, I can't, man,
this is two months...

200
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:41,197
Okay.

201
00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:42,470
Now, where you from, Leo?

202
00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:46,714
I'm a citizen of the world.
Mogadishu, Jakarta, Kabul.

203
00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:48,920
All the vacation spots.

204
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:52,040
- Military?
- No. Ex-military.

205
00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:54,271
Currently entrepreneur.

206
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:57,235
International trade.
I buy stuff, sell stuff.

207
00:12:57,320 --> 00:12:58,231
Like?

208
00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:02,116
Gas, guns, oil, trains, trucks.
Big stuff. I like big stuff.

209
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:06,994
And a man of mystery.

210
00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:10,950
How about we play some cards?

211
00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:12,874
What's your game, cousin?

212
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:17,113
You like Five Card Draw, Stud,
Omaha, Texas Hold 'Em?

213
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:18,111
Texas will do.

214
00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:19,631
Deal 'em, Joey.

215
00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:22,349
And a five and a ten, ten.

216
00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:23,591
Ace high.

217
00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:25,196
Why don't we double that.

218
00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:28,079
- Wow.
- You guys are bank robbers.

219
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:29,759
Gotta know when to fold.

220
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:33,595
My 700. Here's the river.

221
00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:37,440
Look at that!

222
00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:41,434
I'm gonna... just for the shit's sake,
I'm gonna bump it two.

223
00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:42,351
There's nine.

224
00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:44,033
- Burt, what are you? You all-in?
- I'm out.

225
00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:45,834
And I'm all-in.

226
00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:47,912
Oh man! What we gonna do?

227
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:50,071
Okay, y'all. Read 'em and weep.

228
00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:52,720
- Full boat, aces up.
- Holy shit!

229
00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:54,029
We warned ya, Leo!

230
00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:57,518
- That's four tens.
- What?

231
00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:01,631
- Four tens.
- Damn, he beat Duke.

232
00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:03,040
I am deader than dead.

233
00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:04,440
I'm all cleaned out.

234
00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:06,157
Damn, I was lucky!

235
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:08,920
Sometimes you step in horseshit
and you wind up smellin'...

236
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,720
Excuse me, you know,
I think that one's mine.

237
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:13,789
I didn't see that.

238
00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:16,554
What do you want? Why'd you come here?

239
00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:19,320
I came here to continue developing
my business empire

240
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:21,992
while working on my shaky golf game.

241
00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:24,870
Oh, you... you play golf?

242
00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:28,073
Not well, but honestly and earnestly.

243
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:30,720
Well, uh, perhaps
you will give me the chance

244
00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:32,712
to win back my money on the golf course.

245
00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:33,790
Perhaps I will.

246
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:38,835
You know, a true gentleman
does not walk away a winner.

247
00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:41,829
A true gentleman keeps the game alive.

248
00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:46,477
Oh, my, my, my, my! Behold the evidence.

249
00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:48,838
Whatever can it mean?

250
00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:52,436
She's lookin' for deep comfort
and companionship and maybe a soulmate.

251
00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:53,510
Nuh-uh.

252
00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:55,554
She's not lookin' for soulmate.

253
00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:58,838
She's lookin' for a few precious hours
of intimate connections

254
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:00,679
with no questions asked.

255
00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:03,116
Maybe I'll just go over there
and pick up the tab, huh?

256
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:04,156
Can't compete with that.

257
00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:08,191
Shit!

258
00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:11,357
Well, could if I wanted to.

259
00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:14,076
Can I buy you another round?

260
00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:16,072
You can scram is what you can do.

261
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:25,480
<i>♪ The first noel ♪</i>

262
00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:28,678
<i>♪ The angel did say ♪</i>

263
00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:35,553
<i>♪ Was to certain poor shepherds ♪
♪ In fields as they lay ♪</i>

264
00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:42,520
<i>♪ In fields where they ♪
♪ Lay keeping their sheep ♪</i>

265
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,559
<i>Season's greetin's, y'all.</i>

266
00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:48,191
<i>Good news to report.
Mike Shank from villa 68</i>

267
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:50,840
<i>had a successful hip replacement surgery</i>

268
00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:54,755
<i>and should be back to the Villa Capri
in just a few days.</i>

269
00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:55,876
What the...

270
00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:59,880
That's not my regular camel guy.
Where's my regular camel guy?

271
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:01,634
Uh, he's uh, under the weather.

272
00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:05,951
Oh, uh, corporate is sending
a regional director down

273
00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:07,793
to do a year-end review in case it...

274
00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:09,391
slipped your mind.

275
00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:14,794
I will look down upon him
from a great height. Bring him on.

276
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:16,593
Yeah. Bring him on.

277
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:21,716
Ladies, have you seen the new guy?

278
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:24,795
He's moving into villa 71.

279
00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:28,118
There's new food on the buffet.

280
00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:29,236
Yes.

281
00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:32,040
Oh, in the air, there's a feelin'
of Christmas.

282
00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:35,113
I'm Leo McKay,
and you young ladies might be...

283
00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:39,477
Look at that.

284
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:43,514
I spent years juggling stories
to keep those women apart,

285
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:46,240
and in 20 minutes,
he's got them lined up for a three-way.

286
00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:49,552
Well, uh, four-way if anybody's countin'.

287
00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:51,518
He's not showing me any respect.

288
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:53,034
- No respect.
- No. Nothin'.

289
00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:55,954
But he's gonna find out this is my town.

290
00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:58,631
You're the Duke and this is your domain.
I told you.

291
00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:01,116
- Don't upset him, Larry!
- Duke don't like that.

292
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:08,714
- Well, hello.
- Hello.

293
00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:11,560
I'm Roberta. We met earlier.

294
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:13,912
You know, I neglected to mention

295
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:18,233
that as president
of the Glad-Handers Welcome Wagon Club

296
00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:24,396
here at Villa Capri Resort Community,
I just wanted to say Merry Christmas.

297
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:29,995
Oh! You know,
I could help you fix the place up.

298
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:32,151
You know, a little Feng Shui.

299
00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:33,991
Oh!

300
00:17:36,120 --> 00:17:38,237
- I got skills.
- I'll bet you do.

301
00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:40,994
What you got back here? The dinin' room?

302
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,270
The bedroom. Giddy-up!

303
00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:55,069
Hi. I'm Marguerite
with the Welcome Wagon Club.

304
00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:57,436
- Are you a Glad-Hander?
- How'd you know?

305
00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:02,594
As secretary-treasurer, I brought
a little somethin' to warm up your place.

306
00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:05,275
- A work of art.
- My sentiments exactly.

307
00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:08,756
- And thank you.
- For what?

308
00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:12,675
Did you just invite me in
for a little vino?

309
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:16,350
Red? I love red.

310
00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:19,349
I love white. I love it all.

311
00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:23,150
Well, then how about a lovely Margaux
for a lovely Margot? Can I call you that?

312
00:18:23,240 --> 00:18:24,959
You can call me whatever you like.

313
00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:27,955
By the way, I am in villa 52.

314
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,555
And I'm in villa 36.
What you gonna call me?

315
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:32,950
Oh my God! How did you get here before me?

316
00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:35,396
You know that the by-laws
of our club clearly state

317
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:37,949
that the president
and not the secretary-treasurer

318
00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:39,599
should be the first Welcomer on the scene.

319
00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:41,473
Okay, well let's just call this
an unofficial visit.

320
00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:42,516
- Unofficial?
- Why don't we just have a taste

321
00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:43,790
of this delightful vintage?

322
00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:47,032
- Oh!
- Don we now our straight apparel.

323
00:18:47,120 --> 00:18:48,474
- Oh, my God!
- And what office

324
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:51,314
of Glad-Handers Welcome Wagon Club
might you hold?

325
00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:53,439
Sergeant-at-arms.

326
00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:55,751
Flag flying stiff and ready, I bet.

327
00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:57,479
I think this party's just gettin' started.

328
00:18:57,560 --> 00:19:00,439
- Here, why don't I take you to dinner?
- All of us?

329
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:04,910
Thank you.

330
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,196
- Oh, boy.
- Oh, yes, sir.

331
00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:10,191
Look at him. Look at him.

332
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:13,993
He's got all three of 'em?

333
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:18,110
He's bangin' your entire harem, boss.

334
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:21,272
Oh my God! Some big,
brass <i>huevos</i> he's got!

335
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:22,875
Is he punkin' you, boss?

336
00:19:23,360 --> 00:19:25,397
He's playin' into my hand
is what he's doin'.

337
00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:28,877
He said his golf game is shaky,
am I right?

338
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,360
- That's what he said.
- That's what he said.

339
00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:34,394
Well, gentlemen, who knows
this golf course better than me?

340
00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:38,476
- Old cowboy's in trouble now.
- Oh, I feel bad for Leo.

341
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:40,438
We'll see.

342
00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:52,398
I hereby challenge you to 18 holes of golf
tomorrow morning at 9 a.m. sharp.

343
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:56,629
Cowboy done stepped in it now.

344
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:06,518
We hear that you consider
yourself a citizen of the world.

345
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:09,235
Now exactly what does that mean to you?

346
00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:10,310
It means that I have traveled

347
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,995
from the Cape of Good Hope
to the Black Sea,

348
00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:16,835
from Machu Picchu to Brunelleschi's Dome.

349
00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:20,278
I have been to the birthplace
of Mr. Shakespeare.

350
00:20:21,360 --> 00:20:24,398
And I have been to the gravesite
of Mr. Lombardi.

351
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:25,516
Oh.

352
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:32,116
I rose from the dusty fields
to the gilded halls of power,

353
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,635
first in the military
and then in the business world,

354
00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:37,838
and yet, to this day, I retain my touch
to the common man!

355
00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:40,239
For that is who I am.

356
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:43,757
Oh, Mr. McKay, you are indeed a poet.

357
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,150
I'm not a poet but I have read
the great works.

358
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,673
Would you favor us with a poem?

359
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:49,989
Pretty please.

360
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:53,073
Well, why not? Um, Baudelaire?

361
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:54,435
More modernist, maybe?

362
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,716
Yeats? Williams? Cummings?

363
00:20:56,800 --> 00:21:02,159
Or... or perhaps something a little more...
earthier with a...

364
00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:04,278
backdrop of Christmas.

365
00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:05,510
The last one.

366
00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:06,831
May I?

367
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:08,311
Uh..

368
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:12,035
"There are strange things done
in the midnight sun

369
00:21:12,120 --> 00:21:14,077
By the men who moil for gold;

370
00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:17,593
The Artic trails have their savage tales

371
00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:19,990
That will make your blood run cold;

372
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:22,151
The Northern Lights
have seen queer sights,

373
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:23,833
But the queerest they ever did see

374
00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:25,195
Was that night on the marge

375
00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:28,557
of Lake Lebarge I cremated Sam McGee."

376
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:31,754
- Romeo! Romeo!
- "Now Sam McGee was from Tennessee..."

377
00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:34,238
Oh, Romeo! I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

378
00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:35,800
I'm sorry, he broke away.

379
00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:38,720
He's a sweetheart
but I can never shut him up.

380
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,759
Sit. Be a good dog.

381
00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:44,119
Sit down.

382
00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:48,671
How'd you do that?

383
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:50,190
I like dogs.

384
00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:51,430
Oh! Yeah?

385
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:55,270
- I'm Leo McKay.
- Oh, Suzie Quince.

386
00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:56,999
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

387
00:21:57,560 --> 00:22:00,280
I'm so sorry to interrupt
whatever it is you're doing.

388
00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:01,510
That's quite all right.

389
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,400
Okay. Well, carry on.

390
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:11,357
"On Christmas Day we were mushing
our way along the Dawson trail.

391
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:14,030
Talk of your cold!
Through the parkas fold.

392
00:22:14,120 --> 00:22:15,156
It stabbed like a...

393
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:20,998
it stabbed like a driven nail."

394
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:33,720
Sr. Jiménez!

395
00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:36,190
Miguel Jiménez! That's it.

396
00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:37,636
Here he comes.

397
00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:39,837
That's it. Loosen up, Dukie.

398
00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:41,110
You got 'em now.

399
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,038
Good morning! I accept your challenge.

400
00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:47,834
Well, I'm loose as a goose.

401
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:52,120
Mark Twain said that golf
is a good walk spoiled, but I say...

402
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:54,680
It's a good walk enhanced.

403
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:56,752
Except that neither one of us
is walking, huh?

404
00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:59,799
Details, details, details.

405
00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:00,836
I am a big picture man.

406
00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:05,157
Uh, boss, we got a problem.

407
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:07,118
- What?
- This guy can flat-out play!

408
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:08,793
He said his game was shaky.

409
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:11,317
His shaky is better than your shaky.

410
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:12,720
- Wait...
- Boss.

411
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:14,394
We watched him warm up this morning.

412
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:17,154
This guy can flat out hit. I ain't lyin'.

413
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:18,550
I got a short game.

414
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:21,394
He's got a short game, too,
and a long game.

415
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:22,516
I assume I have the honors.

416
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:23,477
Uh, yes, you do.

417
00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:26,792
Um, just a word of caution.
Out of bounds is to your right.

418
00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:28,473
That's the way I like it.

419
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:29,630
It's to the left.

420
00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:42,919
Oh shit! The guy can hit the ball.

421
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:45,996
Is that a legal club?
I don't think that's a legal club.

422
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:47,719
My side bet with you is off.

423
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:49,359
We might as well get some new girlfriends.

424
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:51,875
Thanks for the confidence, fellas.
Gee whiz!

425
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:54,555
Well, you're a thinking man.
It's a thinking man's game.

426
00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:56,632
I think I'm gonna
hit a three wood out here.

427
00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:57,756
Three wood. Good idea.

428
00:23:57,840 --> 00:23:58,956
- Are you sure?
- Yeah that'll be good.

429
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:01,436
Yeah, okay.

430
00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:03,231
Let it fly.

431
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:05,115
Oh shit!

432
00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:08,235
It's a damn cobra!

433
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:10,960
- Gun! Gun!
- I... I... I got it! I got it!

434
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:13,712
- Damn!
- I got it! I got it!

435
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:14,711
You see that?

436
00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:21,592
Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

437
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:24,158
Okay, die, viper!

438
00:24:26,120 --> 00:24:27,998
- You got him surrounded.
- Still movin'!

439
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:31,160
Don't hurt yourself with that thing.

440
00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:34,799
Somebody bring a beer cooler, please.

441
00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:41,712
Somebody put a cap on...
put a top on the bucket.

442
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:45,552
I never had you figured
for a man packin' iron

443
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:46,915
even if it is a peashooter.

444
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:49,716
You never know
who's lurkin' around.

445
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:53,272
Take him to the Serpentarium in 29 Palms.

446
00:24:53,360 --> 00:24:56,034
Look out! Look out!

447
00:24:56,120 --> 00:24:58,430
Sit... sit on that thing.
Sit on it, you're the biggest.

448
00:24:58,520 --> 00:24:59,431
Come on.

449
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:05,312
Oh! Goddamn!

450
00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:07,511
Wait! Wait!

451
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:13,440
- You're good. Sit on it now. Sit down.
- Sit down.

452
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:14,351
Oh, we're good.

453
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:15,271
I almost got bit.

454
00:25:15,360 --> 00:25:16,760
I'm not going anywhere near that golf bag.

455
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:17,990
You bailin' out of our game?

456
00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:21,511
I have trouble swingin' a golf club
with a rattlesnake wrapped around it, Leo.

457
00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:26,595
- You're afraid to play me.
- I'm not afraid of anything or anyone.

458
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:30,991
Coward.

459
00:25:32,120 --> 00:25:33,190
Doin' a good job, Burt.

460
00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:36,956
- Come on, I need a drink.
- I think it's happy hour.

461
00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:41,359
- ...sit on that thing...
Leo, hell am I supposed to do now?

462
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:43,359
Hell, I don't know. Not my problem.

463
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:45,831
Sit on it!

464
00:25:47,120 --> 00:25:50,352
When a man lets another man
take care of his golf bag, Jimmy,

465
00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:52,079
he has certain expectations.

466
00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:56,120
You think a snake zipped himself
into a pocket in my bag?

467
00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:58,550
Snakes don't have opposable thumbs.

468
00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:00,914
This was not an accident.

469
00:26:03,120 --> 00:26:04,031
Shit!

470
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:07,516
What took you so long?

471
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:09,111
Oh, thank you.

472
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:12,599
I see I'm gonna have
to teach you a lesson.

473
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:14,558
I would love to have another poker lesson

474
00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:16,757
unless you find it easier
just to write me a check.

475
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:19,551
Tell me somethin',
did you move to Villa Capri

476
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:20,796
just to piss me off?

477
00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:22,712
No, that was just a happy by-product.

478
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:24,917
But this anger is doin' you a lot of good.

479
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,719
It gets the blood circulating
throughout your entire body

480
00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:27,995
instead of down there in your little ol'...

481
00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:30,276
You're lucky I have a commitment
of a higher calling at home.

482
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:34,717
You and I... just gettin' started.

483
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:37,956
I can hardly wait.

484
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:40,311
Nice fella.

485
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:50,591
Tell me he's dead.

486
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:54,709
I... I... I know!

487
00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:56,752
I told you to make it look
like an accident,

488
00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:58,991
but a snake in his golf bag?

489
00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:00,911
Sweetie,

490
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:03,959
murder him the old-fashioned way.

491
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:08,600
<i>Attention, residents:</i>

492
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:12,117
<i>The annual tree lighting
is about to begin in the banquet hall.</i>

493
00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:15,791
<i>Come enjoy the holiday season,
sip some eggnog,</i>

494
00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:18,873
<i>and see everyone's favorite Santa Claus.</i>

495
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:24,555
<i>♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪</i>

496
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:28,840
<i>♪ 'Tis the season ♪
♪ To be jolly fa-la-la... ♪</i>

497
00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:33,319
Hey, uh, whoa, whoa!

498
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:35,552
Santa, what the hell
do you think you're doin'?

499
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:37,359
- This is my job.
- Oh, no, no, no. It's not.

500
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:39,557
I was hired by the corporation
that owns Villa Capri

501
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:42,314
and 26 other luxury villages
in California.

502
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:45,479
My party rental company will supply
Santas, Easter Bunnies,

503
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:48,718
fife and drum trios for the Fourth,
and all holidays through the year.

504
00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:49,996
I just signed the contract.

505
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:51,116
Well, ho, ho, ho.

506
00:27:51,360 --> 00:27:52,953
You're tellin' me
you're a corporate Santa?

507
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:55,475
- It's a gig.
- It's a sacred trust!

508
00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:57,870
Sacred trust to you.
20 bucks an hour to me.

509
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:00,956
<i>♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪</i>

510
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:02,110
<i>♪ Fa-la-la-la-la... ♪</i>

511
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:03,276
It's a disgrace.

512
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:05,433
<i>♪ 'Tis the season to be jolly ♪</i>

513
00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:07,671
Hello, Palms Springs!
Thank you all for comin' out.

514
00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:09,114
Duke's not gonna like this.

515
00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:11,955
- Who is this guy?
- Here comes the freight train.

516
00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:14,993
I got your ho-ho right here.

517
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:17,836
Yes!

518
00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:22,317
That ain't the real Santa.
I'm the real Santa.

519
00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:24,831
This guy's a fraud, a phony.

520
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:27,230
He's a sleazy, corporate heathen!

521
00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:35,796
Go, Black Santa!

522
00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:44,353
There ya go! Back to the North Pole!

523
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:53,230
What got into you?

524
00:28:54,040 --> 00:28:55,679
I don't like people
fucking with Santa Claus.

525
00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:01,511
Arturo.

526
00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:04,031
Here you are, gentlemen.

527
00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:07,750
You, my friend, are a gentleman
and a scholar,

528
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:10,910
and you are indeed here on business.

529
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:13,031
Whatever that is.

530
00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:14,634
My business is my business,

531
00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:17,474
but your business seems to be
sitting in a catbird seat

532
00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:20,230
of one-night stands
and Thursday night specials

533
00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:21,680
and Tuesday nooners.

534
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:25,719
Which holds
no special satisfaction for me.

535
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:28,356
What? No Tuesday nooners?

536
00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:30,909
I'm not interested in your girlfriends.

537
00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:36,958
But I could endure
the courtship of a soulmate.

538
00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:42,276
Appreciate it, thank you.

539
00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:44,154
Good. Good boy.

540
00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:47,951
In fact, the perfect soulmate for me
might very well be Miss Suzie Quince

541
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:49,436
sitting right there.

542
00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:51,316
You... you know her name?

543
00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:52,356
I move like the wind.

544
00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:54,557
- You mean you met her already?
- At a taco truck.

545
00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:55,756
You liar.

546
00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:57,513
Her dog's name is Romeo.

547
00:29:59,080 --> 00:29:59,991
Romeo?

548
00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:06,355
Well, I think Romeo is precisely
what she's looking for tonight.

549
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:08,955
Santa from the southern hemisphere.

550
00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:14,110
If she falls for a drunk Santa Claus,
I've badly misjudged her character.

551
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:16,636
Watch this.

552
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:19,595
And I'm not drunk.

553
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:25,677
Hi.

554
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:27,831
Hi.

555
00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:32,235
My name is St. Nicholas.
You can call me Nick.

556
00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:33,871
Susan.

557
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:38,874
I was just... I was just doing
some Christmas tree lighting and stuff

558
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:41,031
with some people who needed some joy.

559
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:44,195
Well, I guess a half-wit Santa
who does kind deeds

560
00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:45,834
for lonely people can't do much harm.

561
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:47,993
Then I'll take that
as an invitation.

562
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:52,390
Here we are. Christmas season.

563
00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:54,436
Nobody's home.

564
00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:57,237
Family long gone. Kids far away.

565
00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:00,678
Is there a husband lurking around?

566
00:31:01,280 --> 00:31:02,600
- Hm?
- No.

567
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:05,718
- First one flew the coop.
- Ah!

568
00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:07,559
Got married again and I flew the coop.

569
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:09,520
Lots of coops.

570
00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:12,117
- So, you'll never try it again?
- Mm-mm.

571
00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:15,352
I decided my final marriage
would be to my job.

572
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:17,716
That's kind of sad.

573
00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:20,311
It's focused. It's not sad.

574
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:24,798
You look... sad.

575
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:29,511
Well, I've been sent here on business

576
00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:31,319
to fire someone before the year is out

577
00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:33,673
during the Christmas season, so...

578
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:38,680
Well, if a guy is not up to the task,
the quicker you do it, the better, right?

579
00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:40,717
Mm... Yeah.

580
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:42,359
Season's greetings. Clean out your desk.

581
00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:44,476
That's not so easy.

582
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:48,519
But at least the music cheers me up.

583
00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:52,271
I love Johnny Mathis.
I have all 42 of his albums.

584
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:53,874
- Really?
- All 42.

585
00:31:54,640 --> 00:31:56,074
Johnny is a good friend of mine.

586
00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:58,278
- Come on!
- No, really.

587
00:31:58,360 --> 00:31:59,680
You know Johnny Mathis?

588
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:01,316
We're practically brothers.

589
00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:07,119
You know, your hair shines like the shun.

590
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:08,311
The "shun"?

591
00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:11,154
You know, big-ass ball
that rises in the East,

592
00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:15,157
- sets in the San Bernardino mountains.
- Oh, yeah. Okay.

593
00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:16,390
- You know something?
- Huh?

594
00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:17,755
- Santa Claus...
- Hey.

595
00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:20,193
I think we need to go. Let this young lady

596
00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:21,634
- have some time to herself.
- Thank you.

597
00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:22,756
This is Leo.

598
00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:25,232
- Leo is my buddy.
- Hello, Leo.

599
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:26,674
Gentleman and a scholar.

600
00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:28,240
I gotta get you outta here, man.
You're drunk.

601
00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:30,438
- I'm not drunk, Leo.
- I know.

602
00:32:30,520 --> 00:32:31,636
- Just overserved.
- Come on.

603
00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:33,717
- Okay, come on.
- I'll see you later.

604
00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:35,912
I appreciate the intervention,
thank you.

605
00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:40,800
Yeah, good boy.

606
00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:50,038
You know, I ever tell you
what a gentleman and a scholar you are?

607
00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:51,634
Yeah, you did. You did.

608
00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:53,279
Get your ass in the truck.

609
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:54,919
Watch my knees.

610
00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:56,754
They're old knees.

611
00:32:57,120 --> 00:32:58,349
Thank you, partner.

612
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:02,790
Thank you.

613
00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:05,076
My friend.

614
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:16,833
Leo... You are a very mysterious man.

615
00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:18,639
I just play my cards close, that's all.

616
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:23,153
No, I mean...
I mean, I mean you're easy to talk to.

617
00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:24,831
Hm?

618
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:30,589
And I got a big secret. Ginormous secret.

619
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:33,237
- You wanna hear it?
- No, not really, no.

620
00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:34,674
Seriously, Leo.

621
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:36,839
- Seriously?
- Yeah.

622
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:38,550
You're not a serious man.

623
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:40,120
A serious man would
not have behaved himself

624
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:42,078
in front of Miss Suzie Quince
the way you did.

625
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:43,391
What?

626
00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:49,916
You're just jealous
because she was so receptive. You...

627
00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:52,237
You are not as charming
as you think you are.

628
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:54,071
Hey...

629
00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:56,598
agree to disagree, babe.

630
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:03,431
- I need a cup of coffee.
- You need a new liver.

631
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:06,280
You should have seen
what she was doin' with her eyes.

632
00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:08,272
I did. She was looking for an exit.

633
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:12,357
<i>♪ Silent night ♪</i>

634
00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:15,838
<i>♪ Holy night ♪</i>

635
00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:19,911
<i>♪ All is calm ♪</i>

636
00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:23,393
<i>♪ All is bright ♪</i>

637
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:26,520
<i>♪ 'Round yon virgin... ♪</i>

638
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:29,555
Duke, you still rule
this one side of town.

639
00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:31,359
- Yeah.
- Kick corporate's ass.

640
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:35,470
Leo's, uh, a pretty good guy.

641
00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:36,516
To the status quo.

642
00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:38,956
The way we've always done things.

643
00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:40,190
- Status quo.
- Duke.

644
00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:41,430
- What?
- Boss is here.

645
00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:43,354
The hell are you talkin' about?
I'm the boss.

646
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:45,716
I mean, the regional director.

647
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:48,634
Oh, yeah. Send his sorry-ass in.

648
00:34:56,920 --> 00:34:58,115
Hello,

649
00:34:58,240 --> 00:35:00,357
I'm Suzie Quince, regional director.

650
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:05,791
I... thought...
I thought you said you were...

651
00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:11,078
sent down here to evaluate
somebody's job performance,

652
00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:14,790
maybe fire them before the year was out?

653
00:35:15,240 --> 00:35:17,197
When you're not Santa Claus,
are you Duke Diver?

654
00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:20,475
- Probably.
- Well, when a man's not up to the task,

655
00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:22,519
it's best to get it over with quick.

656
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:27,720
Guys, guys, why don't you go out
and practice

657
00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:30,156
your shuffleboard stroke or something?

658
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:38,437
There are many, many irregularities.

659
00:35:38,520 --> 00:35:41,433
You're damn right,
and I got one I wanna report right now.

660
00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:42,351
Please do.

661
00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:47,595
They sent us a very, very bad Santa Claus.
I wanna know who hired him.

662
00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:48,591
I did.

663
00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:50,111
I made a deal

664
00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:52,920
with a national party rental firm
to service all our outlets.

665
00:35:53,760 --> 00:35:55,479
- Our outlets?
- Yes.

666
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:57,509
Lady, this is our home.

667
00:35:58,240 --> 00:36:00,436
We have a way of doing things
here... that work.

668
00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:02,318
This isn't your company, Mr. Diver.

669
00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:05,040
- Protocols are not being followed.
- Protocols?

670
00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:06,835
Everybody's happy here.

671
00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:10,118
Aren't you happy?
And happiness is not a condition, lady.

672
00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:12,557
- It's a choice.
- No! Okay. Well, you know what?

673
00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:14,871
I don't need your pop psychology,
Dr. Phil.

674
00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:17,236
And don't knock Dr. Phil.
He's a personal friend of mine.

675
00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:20,638
Oh, Johnny Mathis and Dr. Phil.

676
00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:24,433
You're an unhappy woman.

677
00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:26,759
And you're wrong about me.

678
00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:28,957
Well, happiness can be found
in a lot of places

679
00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:31,640
including a fine bar late at night.

680
00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:32,991
Alone?

681
00:36:33,720 --> 00:36:34,949
- Jimmy?
- Hm?

682
00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:39,834
Have the bookkeeper gather
all records, receipts, contracts,

683
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:41,718
and have them on my desk in the morning

684
00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:46,113
along with every piece of paper
that Duke Diver ever signed.

685
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:49,354
Uh, you want every single one?

686
00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:51,272
Every single one.

687
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:54,073
I suppose you want a tour.

688
00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:55,719
Of the entire operation.

689
00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:57,711
Romeo.

690
00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:01,070
Oh shit!

691
00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:07,994
I think you're going to be
very impressed

692
00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:09,474
with what we have going on here.

693
00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:14,319
Oh, tango.

694
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:15,631
Duke's idea.

695
00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:19,517
Oh, tai chi.

696
00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:21,080
Also Duke's idea.

697
00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:26,518
Now, I think you're going to be
especially impressed with this.

698
00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:29,030
- This is very important...
- This is our regular Thursday class.

699
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:31,271
Real sex, loving sex,

700
00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:34,751
affectionate, tender, nasty, dirty sex

701
00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:38,038
still must be part of your daily
existence.

702
00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:40,840
The older we get, the better it gets.

703
00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:44,431
Duke's idea.

704
00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:45,870
Catching on.

705
00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:48,680
In defense of Mr. Diver,
this place is always packed.

706
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:51,320
Last week we had this expert on group sex,
and he said that the...

707
00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:54,518
Oh... there's experts on that?

708
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:56,837
Yes.

709
00:37:57,680 --> 00:37:59,114
And he was very,

710
00:38:00,240 --> 00:38:01,356
very good.

711
00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:03,991
Okay.

712
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:06,391
I know that you feel
like you might have seen enough, but

713
00:38:06,720 --> 00:38:08,837
I promise you this place
is absolutely wonderful.

714
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:10,513
The rocks. You can see
the rock formations.

715
00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:12,120
I don't know if you've studied geology,

716
00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:15,398
but I just, I really hope you can
come to love it here the way we all do.

717
00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:18,193
I mean, Duke is doing a great job.

718
00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:19,396
If you could just...

719
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:22,559
It really is beautiful out here.

720
00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:25,231
Leo.

721
00:38:27,240 --> 00:38:29,675
Oh shit! Oh, this is bad.

722
00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:31,194
This is gonna be bad!

723
00:38:32,240 --> 00:38:33,594
There was some blue in there.

724
00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:38,436
That's stunning.

725
00:38:38,720 --> 00:38:39,631
Yes, you are.

726
00:38:42,720 --> 00:38:46,760
So, uh, you rescue damsels in distress,
you're a poet, and you paint.

727
00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:48,559
I'm exploring my feminine side.

728
00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:54,670
So, uh, are you friends with Duke Diver?
Seems like an odd combination.

729
00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:55,989
Friend is a very strong word.

730
00:38:58,520 --> 00:38:59,317
It's primal.

731
00:38:59,440 --> 00:39:00,920
Yeah. It is.

732
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:04,195
Son of a bitch, what is he up to?

733
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:12,910
I thought you said
you had to uncover enough irregularities

734
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:14,275
so you could fire me.

735
00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:16,520
Well, I'm still reviewing the books.

736
00:39:16,600 --> 00:39:18,080
Your friend's a painter.

737
00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:18,991
Who knew?

738
00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:20,560
It's the San Jacinto mountains.

739
00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:22,791
- It's the what?
- It's the San Jacinto mountains.

740
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:26,112
If this is the San Jacinto mountains,

741
00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:27,920
Bob Hope's house is right here.

742
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:29,719
I'm not puttin'
Bob Hope's house in my picture.

743
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:31,473
Thought it would make it better,
if you'd ask me.

744
00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:33,791
No. Do you see the influence of Cézanne...

745
00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:36,236
...I owe everything to Cézanne.

746
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:39,836
Oh, I see a little more expressionism
than impressionism.

747
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:42,550
A little bit more Kirchner than Cézanne.

748
00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:46,953
Maybe just a tiny touch
of Friedensreich Hundertwasser.

749
00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:48,759
I remind you of Friedrich Hundertwasser?

750
00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:51,676
Hm. I may have to reassess my own work.

751
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:53,956
This is shit!

752
00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:58,073
Romeo? Romeo!

753
00:39:58,160 --> 00:40:00,072
Oh, no, no!

754
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:03,111
Oh, God!

755
00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:10,196
Romeo!

756
00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:12,116
Thank you.

757
00:40:13,240 --> 00:40:16,836
Oh, Leo, thank you.

758
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:19,071
Oh, Romeo. Thank you so much.

759
00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:21,072
Hop in the truck
and I will take you to the vet.

760
00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:22,071
Oh, Leo!

761
00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:23,990
Mr. Hero.

762
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:36,750
There. Bob Hope's house.

763
00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:40,515
Looks better. It's not that damn hard.

764
00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:44,670
<i>I have sad news
to report to the Villa Capri family today.</i>

765
00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:49,154
<i>Mike Shank in villa 68
had a massive coronary</i>

766
00:40:49,240 --> 00:40:51,800
<i>late last night while I was visiting.</i>

767
00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:54,956
<i>My presence was a total coincidence.</i>

768
00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:57,914
Great, fellas. This is great.
This is your finest work.

769
00:40:58,280 --> 00:40:59,350
Hey, where you been, boss?

770
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:02,797
Miss Quince.
She wants my neck and Leo's bed.

771
00:41:03,640 --> 00:41:04,756
Well, what you gonna do?

772
00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:05,751
This is war!

773
00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:10,469
Everything I've worked for at Villa Capri,
everything I've built is at stake.

774
00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:12,479
And if the corporation takes over,

775
00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:14,995
our very way of life disappears,
gentlemen.

776
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:16,879
Miss Quince is evil.

777
00:41:17,240 --> 00:41:20,233
- She is evil, but she's hot.
- What you gonna do, boss?

778
00:41:21,240 --> 00:41:25,075
I'm gonna use my legendary charm,
if I may be so humble...

779
00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:27,279
- Mm-hm.
- And seduce her.

780
00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:30,192
Give her a bit of the old <i>je ne sais quoi.</i>

781
00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:31,475
That's Spanish, right?

782
00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:34,993
I'm gonna take the corporate starch
outta that woman's knickers.

783
00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:36,070
She deserves it.

784
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:38,880
And if there's anybody can do it,
it's you, Duke.

785
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:41,634
But first, Leo McKay.

786
00:41:41,720 --> 00:41:42,631
Mm-hm.

787
00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:44,110
I gotta take him down.

788
00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:45,554
- Oh!
- Take him down?

789
00:42:04,720 --> 00:42:06,473
Tie his hind legs together
with a pickin' string

790
00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:08,791
so he doesn't scratch those stitches out.

791
00:42:09,240 --> 00:42:12,950
- Uh, pickin' string?
- Yarn. It's soft, a knitting yarn.

792
00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:16,590
Oh, well, thanks. Thank you so much.
I really appreciate it.

793
00:42:16,720 --> 00:42:19,110
I have to get back
and do the company survey.

794
00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:21,999
You take your work seriously
and I respect that.

795
00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:25,675
Yeah. Thank you again. I so appreciate it.

796
00:42:25,760 --> 00:42:26,671
Yes, ma'am.

797
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:39,791
Now what?

798
00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:41,630
Renaissance Man.

799
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:46,311
What else do you do?

800
00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:48,912
I'm on a journey of self-discovery
and exploration...

801
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:50,275
Oh, shut up!

802
00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:58,994
Villa Capri is not big enough
for both of us, Leo.

803
00:42:59,600 --> 00:43:00,920
If you wanna do somethin' about that,

804
00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:03,196
I'll beat you the best of five
of anything ever invented.

805
00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:06,279
Game room. One hour.

806
00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:08,559
- I'm not getting fired because you...
- Make the call.

807
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:09,551
...forgot to make the call.

808
00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:10,915
No! I don't care if they call you...

809
00:43:11,000 --> 00:43:12,354
- Oh, good! We're all here.
- Hey!

810
00:43:12,680 --> 00:43:14,751
Time to sharpen the knives,
circle the wagons,

811
00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:16,911
- pull up our bootstraps and buckle down.
- Hey.

812
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:18,480
It's all here, Miss Quince.

813
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:20,074
Great. Okay.

814
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:23,878
So, when exactly does Duke get petty cash?

815
00:43:26,880 --> 00:43:29,839
Wh... whenever he asks for it.
I... I just go and...

816
00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:31,913
Whenever he asks for it?

817
00:43:33,240 --> 00:43:36,870
You know what?
This company is not his personal ATM.

818
00:43:36,960 --> 00:43:39,077
Look, Duke is an honorable man.

819
00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:41,755
I'm sure you're not going
to find anything that... whoa!

820
00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:43,160
Hm, my God!

821
00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:46,678
Honorable. What do you call these?

822
00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:48,389
Size 14, lots of fun.

823
00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:49,950
You want to audit those, too?

824
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:52,320
You know what? I just might.

825
00:43:53,760 --> 00:43:58,960
Miss Quince will never fall for your...
transparent... dishonor.

826
00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:02,556
My dishonor, I'll have you know,
is not transparent.

827
00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:17,190
- I wonder if he could lift me like that.
- Oh, my...

828
00:44:19,120 --> 00:44:20,759
- In my trap.
- I counter!

829
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:29,834
This ain't in your wheelhouse, boss.

830
00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:31,832
- Don't go there.
- What do you mean, "Don't go there"?

831
00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:34,594
Your mama said don't go there last night!

832
00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:37,557
- Checkmate!
- Oh!

833
00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:43,235
Oh!

834
00:44:50,360 --> 00:44:51,919
I got it! I got it! I got it! I got it!

835
00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:54,755
- You've got it?
- You got it?

836
00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:56,593
- You got it! You...
- Got it!

837
00:44:57,600 --> 00:44:58,829
- You don't got it.
- Take it.

838
00:44:58,920 --> 00:45:01,276
Take it, take it, take it!

839
00:45:02,240 --> 00:45:03,913
The score is tied, Mr. Diver.

840
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:05,992
Choose your game to finish this.

841
00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:08,711
Limbo!

842
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:10,234
- Limbo!
- Wow!

843
00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:11,390
Oh, we got him!

844
00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:13,000
I said stop that!

845
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:14,790
You first.

846
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:22,559
He can do it, he can do it!

847
00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:31,157
This is bullshit!

848
00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:35,272
I'll take that as a pass.

849
00:45:35,720 --> 00:45:37,120
Music!

850
00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:20,950
Disqualification!

851
00:46:21,040 --> 00:46:23,509
His knees touched the ground.
I'm starting a protest!

852
00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:34,190
Meet me in your office
tomorrow morning at 9 o'clock.

853
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:35,831
Sharp.

854
00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:45,072
<i>♪ You, me and a Christmas tree ♪</i>

855
00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:48,275
<i>♪ Is all I want this year ♪</i>

856
00:46:49,080 --> 00:46:52,596
<i>♪ Just me, you and a tree will do ♪</i>

857
00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:55,835
<i>♪ Oh, just to have you near ♪</i>

858
00:46:56,640 --> 00:46:59,838
<i>♪ Beneath the twinkling lights ♪</i>

859
00:47:00,400 --> 00:47:03,154
<i>♪ And shiny colored balls ♪</i>

860
00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:06,839
<i>♪ We'll make our holiday delight ♪</i>

861
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:10,071
<i>♪ While little pine needles fall ♪</i>

862
00:47:12,960 --> 00:47:13,996
Well, he's late.

863
00:47:14,440 --> 00:47:16,352
That is very unusual.

864
00:47:16,440 --> 00:47:17,760
Duke is very punctual.

865
00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:21,554
Jimmy, Ginger, why don't you guys
take the morning off?

866
00:47:22,480 --> 00:47:24,631
Why don't you not
and just sit right there.

867
00:47:24,720 --> 00:47:27,235
- This is business.
- Oh, come on. A little bit of the bubbly.

868
00:47:27,320 --> 00:47:29,118
Oh, no, that's not appropriate.

869
00:47:30,680 --> 00:47:32,751
<i>Maison de Chocolat...</i>

870
00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:35,594
Come on. Try it.

871
00:47:36,760 --> 00:47:39,355
This... this is about receipts and

872
00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:40,837
and contracts.

873
00:47:40,960 --> 00:47:42,792
Oh, it's nutty and dark.

874
00:47:42,920 --> 00:47:45,992
Maybe I'll take...
I'll take a couple for later.

875
00:47:46,520 --> 00:47:47,351
Thank you.

876
00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:49,352
- Thank you. Thank you very much.
- Good, good, good.

877
00:47:49,440 --> 00:47:52,638
- Now, it, it, it all adds up.
- Oh, no. It doesn't.

878
00:47:53,240 --> 00:47:55,118
Two thousand dollars for camel rental.

879
00:47:57,200 --> 00:47:59,760
How do you think the Three Wise Men
got to Bethlehem?

880
00:48:00,400 --> 00:48:02,995
What does Palm Springs
have to do with Bethlehem?

881
00:48:03,080 --> 00:48:04,992
Bethlehem was just like this.

882
00:48:05,760 --> 00:48:09,720
Palm trees, warm breezes,
people walkin' around in shirtsleeves.

883
00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:14,192
Not this snow-covered bullshit
dreamed up by Hallmark Cards.

884
00:48:14,280 --> 00:48:15,396
I like the snow.

885
00:48:15,920 --> 00:48:19,197
Would you deprive the residents
of Villa Capri of their dromedaries?

886
00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:21,078
Are you a dromedary depriver?

887
00:48:21,160 --> 00:48:22,480
Okay, forget the camels.

888
00:48:24,200 --> 00:48:27,432
The Gentlemen's Club.
Dancers. Right there. Dancers.

889
00:48:27,520 --> 00:48:29,432
Yeah. Well, they were strippers.

890
00:48:29,520 --> 00:48:31,273
Oh, I knew it!

891
00:48:31,360 --> 00:48:32,874
No, no! No, no, no! They were sweet.

892
00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:37,079
They were... they were sweet.
They made the men feel young and virile.

893
00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:39,277
Even taught the ladies
a couple of tricks, and...

894
00:48:39,360 --> 00:48:40,999
- and I can vouch for that.
- Ew.

895
00:48:42,240 --> 00:48:43,469
Golf clubs.

896
00:48:43,560 --> 00:48:45,313
Personal. Fourteen hundred dollars.

897
00:48:45,440 --> 00:48:47,909
Probably brought in
about a million dollars' worth of business

898
00:48:48,520 --> 00:48:51,513
hosting potential buyers
on the golf course.

899
00:48:51,800 --> 00:48:52,631
- Duke...
- Hm?

900
00:48:52,720 --> 00:48:54,473
It's the corporation's petty cash.

901
00:48:55,520 --> 00:48:57,398
You are apparently unfamiliar

902
00:48:57,520 --> 00:49:01,992
with US Tax Codes special addendum 44,
parts three and seven

903
00:49:02,560 --> 00:49:06,440
which define explicitly those,
and I quote,

904
00:49:06,800 --> 00:49:10,350
"reasonable expenses pertaining
to a business's ongoing operation."

905
00:49:10,760 --> 00:49:13,275
- Subparagraph 12, "whereas in the..."
- Stop it!

906
00:49:16,840 --> 00:49:17,751
Okay.

907
00:49:18,240 --> 00:49:20,550
Just... want to know,

908
00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:24,000
are you keeping your heart open for me
like I am for you?

909
00:49:24,080 --> 00:49:26,640
Um, Duke? I don't even know who you are.

910
00:49:27,120 --> 00:49:30,033
Actually, I can't even find
you in the national corporate database.

911
00:49:33,320 --> 00:49:36,233
Oh, well, basically,
if I don't exist, what?

912
00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:39,358
- Does that mean we're finished?
- No, we haven't even started.

913
00:49:40,720 --> 00:49:44,157
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Anyway, I... I gotta go and get ready

914
00:49:44,240 --> 00:49:45,720
- for the big Christmas Eve party.
- Wh... wh...

915
00:49:45,800 --> 00:49:49,999
And have I got a surprise for you!

916
00:49:52,520 --> 00:49:53,636
I don't want a surprise.

917
00:49:54,960 --> 00:49:57,555
- I'm sure it's very nice.
- You shut up!

918
00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:02,873
And now, ladies and gentlemen,

919
00:50:02,960 --> 00:50:05,031
we invite you to please
put your hands together

920
00:50:05,120 --> 00:50:09,956
and give it up
for our beloved leader, Duke Diver.

921
00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:11,360
<i>Hello, everybody.</i>

922
00:50:17,840 --> 00:50:19,160
<i>Merry Christmas!</i>

923
00:50:20,680 --> 00:50:23,673
<i>Mer-ry Christmas!</i>

924
00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:25,160
<i>And I'm saying it like that</i>

925
00:50:25,240 --> 00:50:27,357
<i>because this is really
a special Christmas today,</i>

926
00:50:27,440 --> 00:50:32,310
<i>and I think this is going to be one
you will remember far into your future</i>

927
00:50:32,400 --> 00:50:33,720
<i>which I hope is very long.</i>

928
00:50:35,080 --> 00:50:40,712
<i>But this Christmas is uh, very special
to me because I want to dedicate it.</i>

929
00:50:41,200 --> 00:50:42,998
<i>I want to dedicate it
to a very special lady.</i>

930
00:50:43,080 --> 00:50:45,959
<i>Her name is Miss Suzie Quince,
wherever she is.</i>

931
00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:48,273
<i>There she is!</i>

932
00:50:48,360 --> 00:50:51,159
<i>Miss Quince,
would you mind stepping forward</i>

933
00:50:51,240 --> 00:50:52,435
<i>so we know who you are?</i>

934
00:50:53,440 --> 00:50:55,477
<i>Please, just a couple of steps forward.</i>

935
00:50:56,600 --> 00:50:58,353
<i>Here she is, ladies and gentlemen.</i>

936
00:50:58,840 --> 00:50:59,751
Hi.

937
00:50:59,840 --> 00:51:03,993
<i>On this special day
in this special season, Susan,</i>

938
00:51:04,680 --> 00:51:06,592
<i>I'm dedicating this one to you.</i>

939
00:51:07,600 --> 00:51:08,954
<i>Ladies and gentlemen,</i>

940
00:51:10,040 --> 00:51:11,315
<i>Johnny Mathis!</i>

941
00:51:16,040 --> 00:51:17,793
- Holy shit! Did you see that?
- Atta boy, Dukie!

942
00:51:17,880 --> 00:51:19,030
You did it again!

943
00:51:19,120 --> 00:51:21,794
It's good to see you, my friend.
Welcome, welcome.

944
00:51:22,160 --> 00:51:23,640
I'll be on the piano for you.

945
00:51:23,960 --> 00:51:24,871
This is gonna go well.

946
00:51:25,200 --> 00:51:28,318
Okay. Thank you. Hi, guys. All right.

947
00:51:35,680 --> 00:51:39,640
<i>♪ Sleigh bells ring are ya listenin' ♪</i>

948
00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:43,596
<i>♪ In the lane snow is glistenin' ♪</i>

949
00:51:44,280 --> 00:51:47,637
<i>♪ A beautiful sight we're happy tonight ♪</i>

950
00:51:48,240 --> 00:51:51,119
<i>♪ Walkin' in a winter wonderland... ♪</i>

951
00:51:51,200 --> 00:51:52,759
I'm walkin', baby.

952
00:51:53,240 --> 00:51:59,032
Does Roberta have a little Beyoncé
thing goin' on tonight or am I hammered?

953
00:51:59,120 --> 00:52:01,680
Well, she does, but you are hammered.

954
00:52:01,760 --> 00:52:02,637
Put a ring on it.

955
00:52:02,720 --> 00:52:03,631
Boys...

956
00:52:04,320 --> 00:52:06,880
boys, it's time to make our move.

957
00:52:07,280 --> 00:52:11,479
Ms. Marguerite. You and me?

958
00:52:11,560 --> 00:52:14,280
<i>♪ Then pretend that he is ♪
♪ Parson Brown ♪</i>

959
00:52:15,720 --> 00:52:16,915
Come on.

960
00:52:19,080 --> 00:52:20,719
<i>♪ But you can do the job ♪
♪ When you're in town ♪</i>

961
00:52:20,800 --> 00:52:21,995
I see you.

962
00:52:22,640 --> 00:52:29,353
<i>♪ Later on we'll conspire ♪
♪ As we dream by the fire ♪</i>

963
00:52:30,720 --> 00:52:34,077
<i>♪ To face unafraid ♪
♪ The plans that we made ♪</i>

964
00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:37,638
<i>♪ Walkin' in a winter wonderland ♪</i>

965
00:52:40,880 --> 00:52:44,874
<i>♪ Over the ground lies a mantle of white ♪</i>

966
00:52:45,560 --> 00:52:50,316
<i>♪ A heaven of diamonds ♪
♪ Shine down through the night ♪</i>

967
00:52:51,520 --> 00:52:53,432
Miss Quince, may I have
the pleasure of this dance?

968
00:52:53,520 --> 00:52:54,920
Yes, absolutely.

969
00:52:56,040 --> 00:52:59,033
<i>♪ When it snows ♪</i>

970
00:52:59,120 --> 00:53:00,156
Oh, you're good!

971
00:53:00,520 --> 00:53:01,749
Oh, I'm not that good,

972
00:53:01,840 --> 00:53:04,400
- I just try real hard.
- Yes you are, you're really good.

973
00:53:04,480 --> 00:53:07,757
I've gotta tell ya,
you're light on your feet.

974
00:53:07,840 --> 00:53:11,880
<i>♪ We'll frolic and play ♪
♪ The Eskimo way ♪</i>

975
00:53:12,840 --> 00:53:15,116
Excuse me, excuse me.
Excuse me, excuse me.

976
00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:16,953
- My turn.
- Have some respect for the lady.

977
00:53:17,040 --> 00:53:19,919
- Gentlemen, gentlemen.
- There's only one gentleman here.

978
00:53:20,160 --> 00:53:21,514
Stop the music!

979
00:53:22,720 --> 00:53:24,439
You makin' a fool of yourself, Duke.

980
00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:27,000
I'm callin' your hand.

981
00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:31,711
We're gonna play
18 holes of golf, right?

982
00:53:32,280 --> 00:53:33,794
Winner...

983
00:53:36,240 --> 00:53:38,436
- Christmas morning.
- Bring your A-game.

984
00:53:38,520 --> 00:53:42,070
A-game?
I'm gonna kick your ass with one hand!

985
00:53:44,320 --> 00:53:45,117
Oh, no.

986
00:53:51,440 --> 00:53:53,238
<i>♪ Dashing through the snow ♪</i>

987
00:53:53,320 --> 00:53:55,516
<i>♪ In a one-horse open sleigh ♪</i>

988
00:53:56,080 --> 00:53:58,117
<i>♪ O'er the fields we go ♪</i>

989
00:53:58,200 --> 00:54:00,999
<i>♪ Laughing all the way ha-ha-ha ♪</i>

990
00:54:01,080 --> 00:54:03,117
<i>♪ Bells on bobtails ring ♪</i>

991
00:54:06,360 --> 00:54:09,114
It's madness. It's all madness.

992
00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:17,718
Leo can play for real.

993
00:54:17,800 --> 00:54:19,075
It doesn't matter. We got your back, boss.

994
00:54:19,160 --> 00:54:21,880
Yeah, even if you're outta bounds,
I got the foot mashie going.

995
00:54:21,960 --> 00:54:25,271
And I got a hole in my pocket
and a half dozen extra balls.

996
00:54:26,440 --> 00:54:28,830
And I got a short game.

997
00:54:28,920 --> 00:54:30,320
We got you rigged to win!

998
00:54:30,400 --> 00:54:31,800
Ah, we got you covered.

999
00:54:31,880 --> 00:54:33,075
I wouldn't even worry about it.

1000
00:54:33,160 --> 00:54:34,913
Cowboy and the playboy.

1001
00:54:35,040 --> 00:54:36,838
- I got my money on the playboy.
- All right, all right.

1002
00:54:37,240 --> 00:54:38,117
Ladies and gentlemen,

1003
00:54:38,200 --> 00:54:41,750
this morning's contest
will be 18 holes of match play golf

1004
00:54:42,280 --> 00:54:46,433
between Mr. Diver and Mr. McKay,
according to official USGA rules.

1005
00:54:46,520 --> 00:54:48,876
Now, I just wanna say before we begin

1006
00:54:48,960 --> 00:54:51,520
that even though
there can only be one winner...

1007
00:54:51,640 --> 00:54:53,597
Oh, shut up!
I think I have the honors here.

1008
00:54:53,800 --> 00:54:54,631
- Yep.
- Oh,

1009
00:54:54,720 --> 00:54:55,631
we're starting to kick it now!

1010
00:55:01,760 --> 00:55:03,114
Oh!

1011
00:55:03,200 --> 00:55:04,395
Son of a bitch!

1012
00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:06,398
Holy!

1013
00:55:07,600 --> 00:55:09,398
All right, baby!

1014
00:55:09,480 --> 00:55:11,153
All right, Duke. Have at it.

1015
00:55:11,880 --> 00:55:13,917
Show us what you got.
Come on, let it rip.

1016
00:55:14,000 --> 00:55:14,911
Quiet, please!

1017
00:55:15,240 --> 00:55:17,675
You don't gotta tell me
to shut up. Let it rip, boss. Let it rip.

1018
00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:22,077
Leo, pay attention. One hand.

1019
00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:24,954
- One hand.
- Waggling.

1020
00:55:25,040 --> 00:55:25,951
Yes.

1021
00:55:26,600 --> 00:55:28,319
Yes! Yes!

1022
00:55:29,200 --> 00:55:30,873
Let's go! Let's go!

1023
00:55:31,200 --> 00:55:33,840
Ow! That's how you do it!

1024
00:55:33,920 --> 00:55:35,718
Right down the fairway!

1025
00:55:40,440 --> 00:55:41,840
- Yes!
- Uh-huh.

1026
00:55:55,920 --> 00:55:58,116
- Yeah! Yeah!
- Feelin' it!

1027
00:56:03,400 --> 00:56:05,631
No, no problem.
I got this, I got this.

1028
00:56:12,680 --> 00:56:13,875
Yes, Duke!

1029
00:56:20,800 --> 00:56:21,711
Settle.

1030
00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:29,755
- Damn, smoother...
- Oh, good break!

1031
00:56:44,400 --> 00:56:45,595
That ball is out of bounds.

1032
00:56:45,680 --> 00:56:47,239
- Huh?
- Out of bounds.

1033
00:56:49,320 --> 00:56:50,993
Lucky bounce. Must have hit a tree.

1034
00:56:54,280 --> 00:56:55,236
Oh!

1035
00:56:55,720 --> 00:56:56,870
Yeah, great shot,
great shot, chief!

1036
00:56:56,960 --> 00:56:58,076
All right, Duke, have at it!

1037
00:56:58,440 --> 00:57:00,272
- Oh, boy.
- You're lookin' real good.

1038
00:57:00,720 --> 00:57:03,758
Oh, cowboy, what you gonna do now, cowboy?

1039
00:57:03,840 --> 00:57:06,639
All right. This is bullshit.

1040
00:57:07,160 --> 00:57:09,356
- What you talkin' about?
- It's bullshit.

1041
00:57:10,200 --> 00:57:13,830
Are you accusing me of conduct
unbecoming a man of my reputation?

1042
00:57:13,920 --> 00:57:17,755
I am accusing you of conduct
consistent with a man of your reputation.

1043
00:57:17,840 --> 00:57:19,194
You been cheatin' all day long.

1044
00:57:21,040 --> 00:57:22,997
And if I'm keepin' the score correctly,

1045
00:57:23,080 --> 00:57:25,754
you will have to hole that ball
on that green to beat me.

1046
00:57:26,520 --> 00:57:27,431
Okay.

1047
00:57:27,960 --> 00:57:28,757
Okay.

1048
00:57:28,880 --> 00:57:29,996
You got this shot.

1049
00:57:30,920 --> 00:57:31,831
Watch this.

1050
00:57:34,120 --> 00:57:35,315
Tell you what, why don't we, uh,

1051
00:57:35,400 --> 00:57:37,357
run up here right quick
and read the green.

1052
00:57:38,400 --> 00:57:39,959
- Great thinking.
- Not so fast.

1053
00:57:40,720 --> 00:57:42,120
I don't trust you and I never will.

1054
00:57:42,440 --> 00:57:43,760
Ah, we plum-bobbing that!

1055
00:57:43,840 --> 00:57:45,593
I'm keepin' my eye on you, man,
just like a hawk.

1056
00:57:46,640 --> 00:57:47,551
God damn!

1057
00:57:48,120 --> 00:57:49,031
Oh shit! Oh shit!

1058
00:57:51,360 --> 00:57:52,316
- Everybody all right?
- Shit!

1059
00:57:52,400 --> 00:57:53,834
They found me! They found me!

1060
00:57:53,920 --> 00:57:55,320
- Everyone's okay.
- Are you okay?

1061
00:57:55,400 --> 00:57:57,517
Stay calm. Stay calm.

1062
00:57:57,600 --> 00:57:59,114
We'll have the EMS here in a minute.

1063
00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:00,431
Holy shit!

1064
00:58:00,920 --> 00:58:02,240
Probably just a gasoline leak.

1065
00:58:02,320 --> 00:58:03,720
It's an electric cart!

1066
00:58:03,800 --> 00:58:05,678
Where's my hat? Where's my hat?

1067
00:58:05,760 --> 00:58:06,637
Where you goin'?

1068
00:58:38,920 --> 00:58:39,990
You want a taste?

1069
00:58:40,440 --> 00:58:42,591
It's Leo, and I don't want a taste.
Open up.

1070
00:58:42,680 --> 00:58:43,591
Leo?

1071
00:58:50,320 --> 00:58:53,040
You forfeit. I win the golf match.

1072
00:58:53,120 --> 00:58:54,839
You can have the damn golf match.

1073
00:58:55,240 --> 00:58:56,356
Somebody wants me dead!

1074
00:58:56,440 --> 00:58:57,760
Who wants you dead? Who are you?

1075
00:58:58,160 --> 00:58:59,071
It... it's, a...

1076
00:58:59,840 --> 00:59:01,797
So, I'm the trophy for a golf match.

1077
00:59:02,880 --> 00:59:05,076
I mean, it's not the first time
men have fought over me.

1078
00:59:05,160 --> 00:59:06,913
Which one of you children is winning?

1079
00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:09,754
No, no, no.
We... we... we're not fighting over you.

1080
00:59:10,040 --> 00:59:11,520
That would be sexist and outrageous.

1081
00:59:11,600 --> 00:59:14,115
No, we're fighting
over the right to court you.

1082
00:59:14,200 --> 00:59:15,031
There's a difference?

1083
00:59:15,120 --> 00:59:17,271
These are fine distinctions that men make.

1084
00:59:17,360 --> 00:59:19,716
Yeah, yeah, we... you misunderstood.

1085
00:59:20,240 --> 00:59:22,675
We honor, praise and glorify you.

1086
00:59:22,760 --> 00:59:24,513
No criminal intent on Duke's part,

1087
00:59:24,600 --> 00:59:25,954
it's just Duke being Duke.

1088
00:59:26,320 --> 00:59:27,151
Thank you, Leo.

1089
00:59:27,240 --> 00:59:28,879
Do you men hear yourselves?

1090
00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:30,832
- No.
- Sh... should we?

1091
00:59:32,360 --> 00:59:34,636
Excuse me. I trust I've made my point.

1092
00:59:36,280 --> 00:59:39,273
Oh, by the way, did you hear a loud boom
a few minutes ago?

1093
00:59:39,600 --> 00:59:42,399
- Uh-uh.
- No, no.

1094
00:59:43,720 --> 00:59:44,631
You?

1095
00:59:45,160 --> 00:59:47,834
Corporate's up my ass
and you're both lying to me.

1096
00:59:49,320 --> 00:59:50,834
You better report this
to the county sheriff.

1097
00:59:50,920 --> 00:59:53,037
Oh, no, no. No, Leo, I beg you.

1098
00:59:53,120 --> 00:59:54,600
Don't take this to the law.

1099
00:59:55,960 --> 00:59:59,317
Leo. Leo! Leo, where you going?

1100
01:00:01,320 --> 01:00:03,118
Leo, it's not safe for me
around here anymore.

1101
01:00:03,200 --> 01:00:05,795
- You've got to get me the hell outta here.
- Why would I do that for you?

1102
01:00:06,400 --> 01:00:08,312
Because you don't want bloody chunks of me

1103
01:00:08,400 --> 01:00:10,312
raining all over Villa Capri!

1104
01:00:10,400 --> 01:00:12,312
All right, I'll get you outta here
but on one condition.

1105
01:00:12,400 --> 01:00:14,631
You tell me everything. No more bullshit.

1106
01:00:14,720 --> 01:00:16,837
Now, why would I bullshit you, Leo?

1107
01:00:16,920 --> 01:00:18,991
Okay. Bloody chunks it is.

1108
01:00:19,080 --> 01:00:22,357
Uh, okay, okay. Okay.
No... no more bullshit.

1109
01:00:23,680 --> 01:00:25,160
You blew up a golf cart?

1110
01:00:25,840 --> 01:00:26,830
And he wasn't in it?

1111
01:00:31,040 --> 01:00:33,794
No, it is not your fault.

1112
01:00:33,880 --> 01:00:36,839
Your... your... your father
never let you murder anyone.

1113
01:00:37,680 --> 01:00:42,675
No, he... he always said
that you did the best digging.

1114
01:00:43,040 --> 01:00:44,315
But sweetheart,

1115
01:00:44,920 --> 01:00:47,958
how many men did you bury
from snakebites and bombs?

1116
01:00:48,600 --> 01:00:49,750
Zero!

1117
01:00:50,120 --> 01:00:51,998
They all died from bullet holes!

1118
01:00:52,080 --> 01:00:56,154
So go get some bullets,
and do it like your father used to do it!

1119
01:01:01,960 --> 01:01:02,950
Who the hell are you?

1120
01:01:03,040 --> 01:01:05,236
My real name is William J. DuPrees.

1121
01:01:06,440 --> 01:01:09,717
I was known for many years as Sweet Willy.

1122
01:01:10,560 --> 01:01:13,758
I was chief counsel for the Bruno family.

1123
01:01:13,840 --> 01:01:14,751
Mob.

1124
01:01:15,080 --> 01:01:19,836
Until I learned that they weren't really
in the trucking business.

1125
01:01:19,920 --> 01:01:23,197
And then Feds came around
and offered me a choice.

1126
01:01:23,280 --> 01:01:25,476
- And?
- I rolled over like a trained show dog.

1127
01:01:25,960 --> 01:01:30,079
The problem was there was this crazy wife
and a crazier son, even,

1128
01:01:30,520 --> 01:01:32,591
who threatened to kill me at the trial.

1129
01:01:33,080 --> 01:01:36,232
And then when the brakes went out
on my car a week later,

1130
01:01:36,720 --> 01:01:38,552
around came the Feds again...

1131
01:01:38,640 --> 01:01:40,074
And you went into witness protection.

1132
01:01:40,160 --> 01:01:43,358
And turned it into an art form,
if I may say so myself.

1133
01:01:44,600 --> 01:01:45,590
Did you ever change your appearance?

1134
01:01:47,640 --> 01:01:48,596
And mess with this?

1135
01:01:49,480 --> 01:01:50,436
I don't think so.

1136
01:01:51,560 --> 01:01:52,437
The Feds will take care of you.

1137
01:01:52,760 --> 01:01:55,229
- Yeah! They'll relocate me.
- So what?

1138
01:01:55,880 --> 01:01:57,712
So, I don't want to be relocated!

1139
01:01:58,760 --> 01:02:00,513
I got it made at the Villa Capri.

1140
01:02:01,120 --> 01:02:03,351
Everything a man could want is there!

1141
01:02:03,440 --> 01:02:06,080
It is my vision that made it
what it is today.

1142
01:02:06,640 --> 01:02:12,079
Sex, booze, golf... and then you die.

1143
01:02:12,320 --> 01:02:14,198
Heaven's gonna be
a disappointment to you, man.

1144
01:02:14,280 --> 01:02:17,717
Come on, Leo.
Help me save what I've built.

1145
01:02:21,640 --> 01:02:23,154
- Shit!
- Nobody messes with my truck!

1146
01:02:24,320 --> 01:02:25,231
Shot my truck!

1147
01:02:25,320 --> 01:02:27,880
Oh, hell! He's tryin' to kill me
and you're worried about a truck?

1148
01:02:27,960 --> 01:02:28,871
Hang on.

1149
01:02:42,680 --> 01:02:43,591
Shit! Shit!

1150
01:02:54,280 --> 01:02:55,316
Shit!

1151
01:03:02,160 --> 01:03:04,277
Let's just regroup
and... and... and make a plan.

1152
01:03:04,360 --> 01:03:05,999
I'm gonna cut the sumbitch off.

1153
01:03:19,080 --> 01:03:22,152
- This is a really bad idea, Leo.
- Watch this.

1154
01:03:26,880 --> 01:03:29,839
Nice work, Leo.
Glad I didn't blink.

1155
01:03:31,640 --> 01:03:33,279
Damn it.

1156
01:03:37,800 --> 01:03:42,113
This is my brand-new, F-150, 4x4,

1157
01:03:42,200 --> 01:03:47,400
ruby red, extended cab,
custom bedliner truck!

1158
01:03:50,560 --> 01:03:53,758
I guess we're going to have to inform
Miss Quince of these developments.

1159
01:03:53,840 --> 01:03:56,400
Yeah. Her job's at stake.

1160
01:04:06,880 --> 01:04:08,553
You got a special feelin' for her,
don't you?

1161
01:04:09,000 --> 01:04:10,559
From the moment I first saw her,

1162
01:04:10,640 --> 01:04:12,472
there was something
about Miss Suzie Quince

1163
01:04:12,560 --> 01:04:15,120
that got the hair
on the back of my neck standing up.

1164
01:04:16,760 --> 01:04:17,716
Nothin' finer.

1165
01:04:18,320 --> 01:04:20,596
In the whole wide world than a good woman.

1166
01:04:21,240 --> 01:04:23,550
I dig the female species...

1167
01:04:23,640 --> 01:04:25,074
Smells sweeter than a honeysuckle.

1168
01:04:25,160 --> 01:04:27,959
Smarter than hell, firm as a biscuit.

1169
01:04:28,320 --> 01:04:29,231
Firm as a biscuit?

1170
01:04:29,520 --> 01:04:32,240
Biscuit, fresh out of the oven.

1171
01:04:32,560 --> 01:04:36,679
Oh, yeah. Butter melting.

1172
01:04:37,600 --> 01:04:39,956
- You see my point.
- Ah, yes, indeed.

1173
01:04:40,600 --> 01:04:45,436
The sun, the moon, and the stars, Leo.
That's what a good woman is to me.

1174
01:04:45,520 --> 01:04:51,994
<i>♪ Hark the herald angels sing ♪
♪ Glory to the newborn king ♪</i>

1175
01:04:52,560 --> 01:04:59,114
<i>♪ Peace on Earth and mercy mild ♪
♪ God and sinners reconciled ♪</i>

1176
01:05:02,560 --> 01:05:03,471
Go on.

1177
01:05:04,600 --> 01:05:05,431
What goes next?

1178
01:05:08,080 --> 01:05:08,991
With.

1179
01:05:09,960 --> 01:05:11,280
What is it? With...

1180
01:05:12,080 --> 01:05:13,560
Romantic joy proclaim?

1181
01:05:14,400 --> 01:05:15,516
Proclaim.

1182
01:05:15,960 --> 01:05:19,112
<i>♪ Christ was born in Bethlehem ♪</i>

1183
01:05:19,680 --> 01:05:22,718
<i>♪ Hark! the herald angels sing ♪</i>

1184
01:05:22,960 --> 01:05:27,671
<i>♪ Glory to the newborn king ♪</i>

1185
01:05:29,560 --> 01:05:32,394
You had a rifle and a scope
and you missed him?

1186
01:05:34,040 --> 01:05:36,600
Oh, Oscar,
just stop trying to kill him.

1187
01:05:36,680 --> 01:05:38,160
Just bring him to me and I'll do it.

1188
01:05:46,280 --> 01:05:48,715
Why am I not surprised
you're in witness protection

1189
01:05:48,840 --> 01:05:50,069
and somebody's trying to kill you?

1190
01:05:50,560 --> 01:05:52,756
- Yep, that's him. Yeah.
- The animal guy, right there.

1191
01:05:53,200 --> 01:05:56,193
Sheep. Camels.
Did they have a snake? Probably.

1192
01:05:57,280 --> 01:05:59,317
I thought he looked vaguely familiar.

1193
01:06:00,200 --> 01:06:01,395
Now I recognize him.

1194
01:06:01,960 --> 01:06:05,078
That's Oscar Bruno,
one of the mob boss's sons.

1195
01:06:05,840 --> 01:06:07,911
He could have
just knocked on your door and shot you.

1196
01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:10,196
Surveillance cameras.
He didn't wanna be ID'd.

1197
01:06:10,320 --> 01:06:12,789
No. He figured he could just come
and go with the animals.

1198
01:06:15,240 --> 01:06:17,038
Leo wants to turn me over to the Feds.

1199
01:06:18,240 --> 01:06:19,833
Oh, God! No, please.

1200
01:06:20,280 --> 01:06:23,910
Tell the police, and suddenly
the Villa Capri is crawling with cops!

1201
01:06:24,040 --> 01:06:27,112
I mean, can't you just, like,
track him down?

1202
01:06:27,200 --> 01:06:28,270
He's a bad guy. Just...

1203
01:06:28,960 --> 01:06:31,634
you know, snuff him out
like way off the radar.

1204
01:06:31,720 --> 01:06:34,280
I don't snuff people out,
off or on the radar.

1205
01:06:34,600 --> 01:06:36,114
Oh, God. I know.

1206
01:06:37,800 --> 01:06:40,156
Okay, guys, look, I... I have a confession.

1207
01:06:41,360 --> 01:06:44,717
The last couple times corporate sent me
to fix a problem,

1208
01:06:44,800 --> 01:06:47,759
something crazy happened.
Things got worse.

1209
01:06:48,880 --> 01:06:52,999
I'm starting to like this place,
but I'm on a short leash here.

1210
01:06:53,480 --> 01:06:55,790
If this gets public,
it could cost me my job.

1211
01:06:57,080 --> 01:06:59,640
Please... Leo...

1212
01:06:59,720 --> 01:07:01,552
And, he shot your damn truck.

1213
01:07:02,000 --> 01:07:04,196
- Hmm.
- He shot your truck?

1214
01:07:04,640 --> 01:07:08,111
You're both right.
We're goin' after this guy.

1215
01:07:08,680 --> 01:07:09,636
Yes!

1216
01:07:19,480 --> 01:07:20,800
What the hell is this about?

1217
01:07:20,880 --> 01:07:23,918
He knows my new truck,
but he doesn't know this shitty van.

1218
01:07:24,000 --> 01:07:26,231
Oh.

1219
01:07:26,760 --> 01:07:27,796
That's clever.

1220
01:07:28,440 --> 01:07:31,160
I think you and I could become
cherished friends, Leo.

1221
01:07:31,240 --> 01:07:32,151
Shut up.

1222
01:08:04,840 --> 01:08:06,240
Fit perfect in a golf bag.

1223
01:08:06,840 --> 01:08:07,751
Can I help you guys?

1224
01:08:08,680 --> 01:08:11,036
- Can they get out?
- Yep, every now and then.

1225
01:08:11,440 --> 01:08:12,635
You might wanna think
about a deeper trough.

1226
01:08:13,240 --> 01:08:15,357
Deeper trough. Yeah, good thinkin'.

1227
01:08:15,880 --> 01:08:17,314
Duke, what brings you out here?

1228
01:08:17,600 --> 01:08:19,990
Were, uh, lookin' for a guy.

1229
01:08:21,400 --> 01:08:23,471
Oscar. Strange fella.

1230
01:08:23,800 --> 01:08:24,631
Where is he now?

1231
01:08:24,720 --> 01:08:25,870
He quit yesterday.

1232
01:08:26,680 --> 01:08:30,310
Said he had found what
he was lookin' for and walked out.

1233
01:08:30,400 --> 01:08:31,311
Leave an address?

1234
01:08:31,560 --> 01:08:33,313
He lived in a motel, I think.

1235
01:08:33,880 --> 01:08:36,793
- Motel...
- You got any idea which motel?

1236
01:08:37,440 --> 01:08:40,274
- Made it sound like the French Quarter.
- French Quarter?

1237
01:08:40,360 --> 01:08:41,316
- Something like that.
- Got it.

1238
01:08:47,360 --> 01:08:49,079
Manager says he's still livin' here.

1239
01:08:49,800 --> 01:08:50,711
Unit 15.

1240
01:08:51,040 --> 01:08:53,714
So when he shows up, we jump him,

1241
01:08:54,000 --> 01:08:55,514
we hand him over to the Feds,

1242
01:08:55,600 --> 01:08:57,796
and he goes up the river forever, right?

1243
01:08:57,880 --> 01:09:00,076
- No, no. We don't jump him.
- What do you mean?

1244
01:09:00,320 --> 01:09:01,231
I do.

1245
01:09:03,360 --> 01:09:05,829
- So just relax.
- Yeah, okay...

1246
01:09:12,120 --> 01:09:14,077
Sixth grade was traumatic.

1247
01:09:14,960 --> 01:09:16,394
I ran for class president.

1248
01:09:17,920 --> 01:09:18,831
Lost.

1249
01:09:19,480 --> 01:09:23,713
I got one vote... my own.

1250
01:09:23,800 --> 01:09:27,510
In high school,
I tried bribing my classmates, but...

1251
01:09:28,160 --> 01:09:29,150
Crushed again.

1252
01:09:29,920 --> 01:09:30,876
Yeah.

1253
01:09:31,200 --> 01:09:33,237
Witness protection turned my life around.

1254
01:09:34,040 --> 01:09:36,555
You got a fresh start
on the back nine of life.

1255
01:09:37,200 --> 01:09:38,714
Reinvented myself.

1256
01:09:39,960 --> 01:09:41,917
Was goin' pretty good, if you ask me.

1257
01:09:42,800 --> 01:09:44,393
You like me a little, yes?

1258
01:09:44,480 --> 01:09:45,880
You need to be liked?

1259
01:09:46,640 --> 01:09:48,711
It may sound pathetic but,

1260
01:09:49,760 --> 01:09:51,194
I love to be adored.

1261
01:09:51,760 --> 01:09:52,671
You need therapy.

1262
01:09:53,760 --> 01:09:54,796
Never worked before.

1263
01:09:56,760 --> 01:09:58,513
Not until now with you.

1264
01:09:59,440 --> 01:10:01,238
Good. You're cured.

1265
01:10:03,440 --> 01:10:06,672
We should rotate naps
in case it turns into an all-nighter.

1266
01:10:07,240 --> 01:10:10,039
Yeah. Well, I'm wide awake
if you wanna take the first one.

1267
01:10:10,720 --> 01:10:12,234
I could nod off pretty quick.

1268
01:10:12,600 --> 01:10:13,511
Well...

1269
01:10:13,800 --> 01:10:17,191
Wake me in one hour
or if anybody shows up.

1270
01:10:25,840 --> 01:10:28,196
- Would you like a song to help you sleep?
- No.

1271
01:10:34,920 --> 01:10:39,597
<i>♪ Silent night ♪</i>

1272
01:10:40,760 --> 01:10:44,834
<i>♪ Holy night ♪</i>

1273
01:10:45,400 --> 01:10:46,311
I like that one.

1274
01:10:47,480 --> 01:10:52,236
<i>♪ All is calm ♪</i>

1275
01:10:53,160 --> 01:10:57,234
<i>♪ All is bright ♪</i>

1276
01:12:17,000 --> 01:12:18,753
- Wake up, Sherlock.
- Hm?

1277
01:12:19,160 --> 01:12:20,480
You were supposed to wake me up.

1278
01:12:21,960 --> 01:12:22,871
Sorry.

1279
01:12:23,480 --> 01:12:25,392
That song always leaves me out.

1280
01:12:30,600 --> 01:12:31,511
Can I help you?

1281
01:12:31,840 --> 01:12:33,991
Yeah, the guy in room 15,
what do you know about him?

1282
01:12:34,440 --> 01:12:36,477
A very nice man. Very polite.

1283
01:12:36,560 --> 01:12:37,471
Bullshit.

1284
01:12:37,760 --> 01:12:40,355
There is one thing.
He... loves naked ladies.

1285
01:12:41,040 --> 01:12:43,077
I saw him at last week's
Sunday brunch at Rudy's.

1286
01:12:43,400 --> 01:12:44,880
They have a Sunday brunch at a titty bar?

1287
01:12:45,760 --> 01:12:47,513
You gotta try the Belgian waffles there.

1288
01:12:51,320 --> 01:12:54,916
Okay. All right. Go do your business.
Go on, Romeo.

1289
01:12:55,120 --> 01:12:57,635
- That's a good boy! Good boy!
- Hey, Suzie?

1290
01:12:58,680 --> 01:12:59,511
Suzie?

1291
01:12:59,600 --> 01:13:01,478
- Yeah?
- It's corporate for you.

1292
01:13:01,560 --> 01:13:03,119
It's corporate?

1293
01:13:08,920 --> 01:13:09,910
Suzie Quince.

1294
01:13:11,280 --> 01:13:12,191
Yes!

1295
01:13:13,520 --> 01:13:14,954
No, no, no...

1296
01:13:15,240 --> 01:13:17,232
I... I'm getting a handle on things.

1297
01:13:17,320 --> 01:13:18,549
A firm grasp.

1298
01:13:22,520 --> 01:13:24,432
<i>♪ Holy night ♪</i>

1299
01:13:24,920 --> 01:13:27,833
No. I... there are protocols.
I'm following the protocols.

1300
01:13:27,920 --> 01:13:30,276
I'm a... I'm a walking protocol.

1301
01:13:34,840 --> 01:13:38,197
But people just seem to be so happy here,

1302
01:13:38,280 --> 01:13:42,559
and happiness is not a condition.
It's a choice.

1303
01:13:47,720 --> 01:13:49,996
Things are not out of control
at the Villa Capri.

1304
01:13:50,080 --> 01:13:51,196
It is magnificent here.

1305
01:13:55,480 --> 01:13:57,153
No, no, no! Stop! Come back!

1306
01:13:57,520 --> 01:14:01,070
Terminate me? You can't terminate me!

1307
01:14:01,160 --> 01:14:03,038
Come back with the nativity!

1308
01:14:03,240 --> 01:14:04,674
No, wait! Stop, get back in there!

1309
01:14:04,760 --> 01:14:06,080
Larry, get the camel!

1310
01:14:07,520 --> 01:14:08,431
You know what?

1311
01:14:08,920 --> 01:14:10,036
Hello?

1312
01:14:13,160 --> 01:14:14,071
Romeo?

1313
01:14:14,880 --> 01:14:16,109
Oh, Romeo?

1314
01:14:17,160 --> 01:14:19,834
Oh, my God! Romeo. Romeo!

1315
01:14:19,920 --> 01:14:23,834
Oh, no, no, no, no!

1316
01:14:23,920 --> 01:14:25,639
- Hey!
- Oh! Oh!

1317
01:14:25,720 --> 01:14:26,870
I got you!

1318
01:14:32,600 --> 01:14:33,829
You know, this isn't
a very efficient plan.

1319
01:14:33,920 --> 01:14:34,831
You shut up!

1320
01:14:35,120 --> 01:14:37,919
You shut up! I'm having
a worse day than you are.

1321
01:14:38,560 --> 01:14:42,349
You know, if I were to ever kidnap
someone for ransom,

1322
01:14:42,600 --> 01:14:45,399
I would have it more worked out,
more organized.

1323
01:14:45,960 --> 01:14:47,394
I mean, there would be some nice kibble,

1324
01:14:47,480 --> 01:14:48,596
and perhaps a chew toy.

1325
01:14:48,680 --> 01:14:49,875
- I'm going to tell you why.
- Chew toy?

1326
01:14:49,960 --> 01:14:51,997
Oh God! It's amateur hour around here.

1327
01:14:52,080 --> 01:14:52,991
Well, I'm sorry.

1328
01:14:59,320 --> 01:15:01,471
All right, all right. Enough about me.

1329
01:15:01,960 --> 01:15:04,839
I'm sure even a tough guy like you

1330
01:15:04,920 --> 01:15:07,480
has some insecurities
you'd like to talk about.

1331
01:15:07,560 --> 01:15:08,471
No.

1332
01:15:09,320 --> 01:15:11,789
Come on. You'll feel better.

1333
01:15:11,880 --> 01:15:13,314
Shut up! I feel fine.

1334
01:15:17,520 --> 01:15:18,840
- They've got a nice gift shop.
- Hey!

1335
01:15:18,920 --> 01:15:19,751
Really sweet.

1336
01:15:19,840 --> 01:15:21,160
Hey, there's the big dog!

1337
01:15:21,240 --> 01:15:22,151
- Hey.
- Hey, what's up?

1338
01:15:22,240 --> 01:15:23,435
- We're lookin' for somebody.
- Yeah?

1339
01:15:23,520 --> 01:15:26,831
- Recognize this guy?
- Doesn't look familiar, but, uh, you know,

1340
01:15:27,120 --> 01:15:28,998
a thousand other guys like that...

1341
01:15:32,640 --> 01:15:34,518
Your animal guy
is not very good at blowin' you up,

1342
01:15:34,600 --> 01:15:36,796
but he's gonna keep tryin'.
Maybe he'll get it right next time.

1343
01:15:37,280 --> 01:15:39,158
- Hey, hey, hey!
- Is that your car?

1344
01:15:39,240 --> 01:15:40,310
- Yeah.
- Give me the keys.

1345
01:15:40,400 --> 01:15:41,914
- My new wheels? No!
- I need your keys.

1346
01:15:42,000 --> 01:15:43,354
- Who do you think you are?
- Give me the keys!

1347
01:15:43,440 --> 01:15:44,590
Shit!

1348
01:15:55,320 --> 01:15:57,437
- This is thrilling.
- Thank you.

1349
01:15:58,400 --> 01:15:59,436
- There he is.
- Yep.

1350
01:16:01,400 --> 01:16:02,470
Goddamn, Leo!

1351
01:16:07,320 --> 01:16:09,880
Two old dinosaurs. Like us, huh, Leo?

1352
01:16:12,080 --> 01:16:13,514
- You think that's funny?
- Nope.

1353
01:16:21,720 --> 01:16:22,631
Hang on.

1354
01:16:25,920 --> 01:16:27,240
Oh shit! Oh shit!

1355
01:16:32,560 --> 01:16:34,153
I have a confession to make.

1356
01:16:35,160 --> 01:16:38,676
Well, for heaven's sake, man, let 'er rip.

1357
01:16:39,080 --> 01:16:40,639
I came here to buy the Villa Capri.

1358
01:16:43,160 --> 01:16:44,594
I thought you only bought big stuff.

1359
01:16:44,680 --> 01:16:46,478
That property is worth 50 million dollars.

1360
01:16:47,080 --> 01:16:50,517
Fifty... and Suzie's worried
about petty cash?

1361
01:16:50,600 --> 01:16:52,319
She's just doin' her job... Hang on!

1362
01:16:52,400 --> 01:16:53,311
Oh shit!

1363
01:16:54,280 --> 01:16:55,999
First, I was gonna bulldoze
the Villa Capri

1364
01:16:56,080 --> 01:16:57,799
and put in a western Mall of America.

1365
01:16:57,880 --> 01:16:59,997
Oh my God! That's sacrilege.

1366
01:17:00,080 --> 01:17:02,800
Don't worry. I changed my mind.
I'm startin' to like that place.

1367
01:17:11,120 --> 01:17:14,511
So, I mean, if it's worth all that

1368
01:17:14,880 --> 01:17:16,394
and it's partly because of me,

1369
01:17:16,480 --> 01:17:18,073
I think I should get a piece of the pie.

1370
01:17:18,160 --> 01:17:19,071
How much do you want?

1371
01:17:19,400 --> 01:17:21,437
Uh, eh, ten percent?

1372
01:17:21,520 --> 01:17:23,637
Suppose I let you keep
your fancy golf cart?

1373
01:17:24,320 --> 01:17:25,595
Wait a minute... They blew that thing up.

1374
01:17:25,680 --> 01:17:27,433
And you're welcome to have a piece of it.

1375
01:17:30,840 --> 01:17:32,957
Looks like Oscar
is through playing around.

1376
01:17:40,440 --> 01:17:42,272
- Uh-oh!
- This looks like a dead end.

1377
01:17:42,360 --> 01:17:44,511
Yeah. Road don't go anywhere.

1378
01:17:44,600 --> 01:17:45,716
Maybe we can box him in.

1379
01:17:46,040 --> 01:17:46,951
Well, it might be a trap.

1380
01:17:47,320 --> 01:17:48,151
So what?

1381
01:17:48,240 --> 01:17:49,435
They're after your ass, not mine.

1382
01:18:10,960 --> 01:18:11,791
That's not Oscar.

1383
01:18:11,880 --> 01:18:13,758
Well, let's go see who the hell it is.

1384
01:18:19,840 --> 01:18:21,513
- You know what you're doin'?
- Generally.

1385
01:18:22,080 --> 01:18:23,480
Stop right there!

1386
01:18:24,320 --> 01:18:26,073
No, no, no, no! Don't shoot, don't shoot.

1387
01:18:26,160 --> 01:18:27,071
Who are you?

1388
01:18:27,200 --> 01:18:30,034
Listen, some lunatic gave me $500
to torch your van

1389
01:18:30,680 --> 01:18:31,636
and to lead you down here.

1390
01:18:32,080 --> 01:18:32,991
Here?

1391
01:18:33,200 --> 01:18:34,111
Yeah.

1392
01:18:37,160 --> 01:18:38,389
Answer the phone.

1393
01:18:42,120 --> 01:18:43,031
Hello?

1394
01:18:45,800 --> 01:18:46,711
It's for you.

1395
01:18:51,760 --> 01:18:52,671
Leo McKay.

1396
01:18:53,040 --> 01:18:53,917
<i>Look up.</i>

1397
01:19:03,520 --> 01:19:04,510
<i>You're lookin' for me?</i>

1398
01:19:05,240 --> 01:19:06,151
What do you want?

1399
01:19:07,320 --> 01:19:08,231
<i>I got your girl.</i>

1400
01:19:08,840 --> 01:19:10,194
<i>I wanna trade her for Duke.</i>

1401
01:19:10,720 --> 01:19:11,995
- That'll work.
- What?

1402
01:19:12,960 --> 01:19:14,599
No, Leo. He'll shoot me in the head.

1403
01:19:14,840 --> 01:19:15,910
Yeah, well, there is that.

1404
01:19:16,360 --> 01:19:17,510
What do you want us to do?

1405
01:19:17,840 --> 01:19:20,878
I want you to sit tight and I'll send you
coordinates of where we'll meet up.

1406
01:19:22,120 --> 01:19:23,031
Leo?

1407
01:19:24,920 --> 01:19:27,879
You're not really gonna trade me
for her, are you?

1408
01:19:27,960 --> 01:19:30,429
She's a lot prettier
and I'd really like to make the trade,

1409
01:19:30,520 --> 01:19:33,638
but my essential sense
of human dignity and decency

1410
01:19:33,720 --> 01:19:34,631
will not permit it.

1411
01:19:35,600 --> 01:19:37,159
However, we need him to think I will.

1412
01:19:37,480 --> 01:19:41,520
Aw, I sure am glad you're you.

1413
01:19:46,800 --> 01:19:50,680
- Hey, can I put my hands down now?
- Shut up.

1414
01:20:01,400 --> 01:20:02,197
Where?

1415
01:20:02,280 --> 01:20:04,476
Utah Trail toward 29 Palms.

1416
01:20:05,040 --> 01:20:06,679
<i>Turn off at the old water tower.</i>

1417
01:20:06,760 --> 01:20:07,671
You know where that is?

1418
01:20:07,760 --> 01:20:08,591
Not a clue.

1419
01:20:08,680 --> 01:20:10,239
How the hell are we supposed to find that?

1420
01:20:10,600 --> 01:20:11,511
Waze.

1421
01:20:12,840 --> 01:20:13,751
God!

1422
01:20:14,720 --> 01:20:15,631
What the hell is that?

1423
01:20:16,080 --> 01:20:17,514
It's an app. You can download it.

1424
01:20:18,080 --> 01:20:18,991
Really?

1425
01:20:21,920 --> 01:20:23,877
<i>Let's get started. Drive safe.</i>

1426
01:20:25,480 --> 01:20:27,039
I have another confession to make.

1427
01:20:27,800 --> 01:20:28,677
Let 'er rip.

1428
01:20:29,520 --> 01:20:31,352
I was married for 33 years...

1429
01:20:32,000 --> 01:20:34,231
to the first woman I ever fell for.

1430
01:20:34,960 --> 01:20:36,599
She died about six years ago,

1431
01:20:36,680 --> 01:20:38,000
and it put me off my game.

1432
01:20:38,080 --> 01:20:40,993
After three or four years,
I felt I should see other women,

1433
01:20:41,080 --> 01:20:42,355
but it didn't feel right.

1434
01:20:44,240 --> 01:20:45,674
You wanna tell Duke about it?

1435
01:20:45,760 --> 01:20:50,277
There's something about Miss Quince
that just shook me out of my malaise.

1436
01:20:50,360 --> 01:20:52,352
She's gorgeous, of course, but she's...

1437
01:20:52,680 --> 01:20:53,955
There's nothin' frivolous about her.

1438
01:20:54,040 --> 01:20:57,078
She's a woman of...
substance and gravitas.

1439
01:20:57,800 --> 01:20:58,711
Gravitas.

1440
01:21:01,000 --> 01:21:03,356
Put me down, you jackass!

1441
01:21:03,720 --> 01:21:05,996
Where's my dog? Romeo!

1442
01:21:06,400 --> 01:21:07,675
Where's my dog?

1443
01:21:08,200 --> 01:21:10,556
Now doesn't all this sharing
make you feel better, huh?

1444
01:21:10,960 --> 01:21:12,838
I could fall in love with her.

1445
01:21:18,120 --> 01:21:21,192
<i>In 0. 1 mile keep left.</i>

1446
01:21:40,400 --> 01:21:42,357
You know, you're always the hero.

1447
01:21:43,200 --> 01:21:46,159
I think I'd like to be heroic sometime.

1448
01:21:52,480 --> 01:21:54,073
How heroic do you wanna be?

1449
01:21:55,040 --> 01:21:55,951
Hm?

1450
01:21:56,680 --> 01:21:57,591
Um...

1451
01:21:58,760 --> 01:21:59,671
Well...

1452
01:21:59,800 --> 01:22:01,837
Uh, you know, just...

1453
01:22:02,800 --> 01:22:04,439
Moderately. Just enough.

1454
01:22:05,080 --> 01:22:06,833
You wanna keep
your braggin' rights to the women.

1455
01:22:08,440 --> 01:22:10,159
You know me well. Yeah, huh?

1456
01:22:14,000 --> 01:22:16,754
You think that's an honorable reason
to wanna be heroic?

1457
01:22:16,840 --> 01:22:17,751
I do.

1458
01:22:23,000 --> 01:22:23,877
I got a plan.

1459
01:22:24,240 --> 01:22:27,677
You know, you remind me of my mother.

1460
01:22:27,760 --> 01:22:32,596
- That's so sweet.
- Yeah. All right.

1461
01:22:34,240 --> 01:22:35,151
All right.

1462
01:22:50,920 --> 01:22:52,149
This is where it begins.

1463
01:23:05,200 --> 01:23:06,554
You all right in there, Suzie?

1464
01:23:07,000 --> 01:23:09,993
- Leo, I'm okay.
- I am not armed.

1465
01:23:10,480 --> 01:23:12,597
I am here to give you what you want.

1466
01:23:13,800 --> 01:23:15,029
And to take what I want.

1467
01:23:15,120 --> 01:23:16,440
Hey, stand right there!

1468
01:23:17,560 --> 01:23:18,676
What you got under that hat?

1469
01:23:19,360 --> 01:23:20,350
A little hair.

1470
01:23:20,440 --> 01:23:23,478
Ha! You send me Willy.

1471
01:23:28,200 --> 01:23:30,396
We can work this out
to everybody's satisfaction.

1472
01:23:30,760 --> 01:23:33,150
Why don't you put the gun down
and we'll talk.

1473
01:23:46,400 --> 01:23:47,470
Give me Duke!

1474
01:23:48,400 --> 01:23:52,030
Damn! You shot my truck
and now you're tryin' to shoot my boots!

1475
01:23:52,120 --> 01:23:56,637
You give me Duke or Willy
or whatever he calls himself. Now!

1476
01:23:56,760 --> 01:23:58,956
You can have him.
I never liked him anyway.

1477
01:24:08,600 --> 01:24:09,511
Oh.

1478
01:24:10,080 --> 01:24:10,991
Ha!

1479
01:24:16,560 --> 01:24:17,710
Oh! That hurts!

1480
01:24:18,160 --> 01:24:20,755
He shot me!

1481
01:24:24,640 --> 01:24:26,472
Bye-bye.

1482
01:24:30,480 --> 01:24:32,631
Christmases seem to blur together.

1483
01:24:33,000 --> 01:24:34,878
You know? This one stands out.

1484
01:24:35,120 --> 01:24:36,315
It's startin' to feel special.

1485
01:24:38,000 --> 01:24:39,639
We're gonna have to call
the sheriff now.

1486
01:24:39,760 --> 01:24:43,037
I don't know about you guys,
but I sure could use a cocktail.

1487
01:24:43,120 --> 01:24:43,951
Here, here.

1488
01:24:55,480 --> 01:24:58,757
I'm starting to understand
the affection you have for this place,

1489
01:24:59,120 --> 01:25:00,110
whoever you are.

1490
01:25:00,840 --> 01:25:03,196
To you, Sweet Willy.

1491
01:25:03,600 --> 01:25:05,956
You did a brave thing today.
I didn't think you had it in you.

1492
01:25:06,040 --> 01:25:08,680
- And you saved the day, cousin.
- I ain't your cousin.

1493
01:25:08,760 --> 01:25:10,592
Well, but you like me a little, huh?

1494
01:25:13,520 --> 01:25:15,352
A little.

1495
01:25:16,680 --> 01:25:17,636
There goes Rudolph.

1496
01:25:18,320 --> 01:25:22,519
And there goes Snoopy.

1497
01:25:22,600 --> 01:25:23,590
Adios, Snoopy.

1498
01:25:30,360 --> 01:25:33,194
Hey! It's New Year's in New York.
Happy New Year, everybody!

1499
01:25:33,280 --> 01:25:34,634
Earlier to bed?

1500
01:25:35,080 --> 01:25:38,198
Uh, with any luck,
maybe two balls will drop tonight.

1501
01:25:38,760 --> 01:25:40,797
Girl, you are delusional.

1502
01:25:40,880 --> 01:25:43,952
Hey, I've never seen you guys
lookin' so sharp.

1503
01:25:44,040 --> 01:25:47,954
- Or you so beautiful.
- To the ladies and ladies.

1504
01:25:50,560 --> 01:25:55,112
Arturo, Miss Quince, I think you know my
cronies and their lovely ladies.

1505
01:25:55,200 --> 01:25:57,396
- Of course I do. Happy New Year.
- Happy New Year.

1506
01:25:57,480 --> 01:25:59,153
Happy New Year.

1507
01:25:59,240 --> 01:26:00,117
Happy New Year!

1508
01:26:00,200 --> 01:26:02,510
I think it's about midnight
in Times Square.

1509
01:26:02,600 --> 01:26:03,511
Oh, yeah!

1510
01:26:05,560 --> 01:26:07,631
Nine o'clock in California
is good enough for me.

1511
01:26:09,080 --> 01:26:11,879
At the end of the day, I have to admit,
I have a soft spot for Duke.

1512
01:26:11,960 --> 01:26:14,316
Wherever they're relocating him,
do you think he's going to be okay?

1513
01:26:14,400 --> 01:26:18,440
My dear, the Duke will always be okay.

1514
01:26:18,520 --> 01:26:19,351
Yeah.

1515
01:26:19,440 --> 01:26:20,556
Strike up the band, boys.

1516
01:26:21,960 --> 01:26:25,351
<i>♪ May old acquaintance be forgot ♪</i>

1517
01:26:25,600 --> 01:26:26,875
<i>Ladies and gentlemen of the</i>

1518
01:26:26,960 --> 01:26:29,191
<i>Tropical Resort Retirement Community,</i>

1519
01:26:29,600 --> 01:26:31,751
<i>say hello to your new resident manager,</i>

1520
01:26:32,520 --> 01:26:34,239
<i>Mr. Marvel Bigelow.</i>

1521
01:26:34,320 --> 01:26:35,390
Music!

1522
01:27:19,200 --> 01:27:23,479
<i>♪ Christmas ♪</i>

1523
01:27:24,680 --> 01:27:29,436
<i>♪ Is a very special time of the year ♪</i>

1524
01:27:31,240 --> 01:27:35,792
<i>♪ It's a precious time ♪
♪ And I'm waiting here ♪</i>

1525
01:27:36,800 --> 01:27:42,114
<i>♪ Can't wait to get close to you ♪</i>

1526
01:27:46,320 --> 01:27:50,075
<i>♪ Christmas ♪</i>

1527
01:27:51,240 --> 01:27:57,111
<i>♪ Is a house adorned ♪
♪ With tinsel and lights ♪</i>

1528
01:27:58,160 --> 01:28:02,757
<i>♪ It's a cozy fire and long quiet night ♪</i>

1529
01:28:03,720 --> 01:28:09,159
<i>♪ That let me get close to you ♪</i>

1530
01:28:12,560 --> 01:28:16,600
<i>♪ No one else, dear, will do ♪</i>

1531
01:28:17,080 --> 01:28:20,118
<i>♪ Darling you, only you ♪</i>

1532
01:28:20,200 --> 01:28:25,116
<i>♪ Make my holiday list ♪</i>

1533
01:28:26,240 --> 01:28:29,950
<i>♪ I can't wait till we've kissed ♪</i>

1534
01:28:30,040 --> 01:28:32,953
<i>♪ And then everything that follows ♪</i>

1535
01:28:33,040 --> 01:28:36,272
<i>♪ Makes my year every December ♪</i>

1536
01:28:36,360 --> 01:28:40,718
<i>♪ Don't forget to remember ♪</i>

1537
01:28:40,800 --> 01:28:44,430
<i>♪ That Christmas ♪</i>

1538
01:28:45,520 --> 01:28:50,549
<i>♪ Is two lovers strolling home ♪
♪ In the snow ♪</i>

1539
01:28:51,760 --> 01:28:56,277
<i>♪ And then warming up ♪
♪ The best way they know ♪</i>

1540
01:28:57,680 --> 01:29:04,678
<i>♪ Oh, let me get close to you ♪</i>

1541
01:29:06,800 --> 01:29:10,396
<i>♪ 'Cause you're all I want for Christmas ♪</i>

1542
01:29:12,280 --> 01:29:17,833
<i>♪ And Christmas is here ♪</i>